One Step Forward .... Twenty-Six Years Back

The more things change … yada yada yada … I still remember this story from 1987 and remember how despicable people could be when they are ignorant of a situation and have no education regarding facts.

Way back when, in Florida, Clifford and Louise Ray were forced to sue the DeSoto County school system after it barred their three sons from attending Memorial Elementary School because the boys had AIDS. The result of that lawsuit was that a Federal judge ordered the boys, Richard, Robert and Randy,  reinstated in school, but then the unthinkable happened; after weeks of death threats and bomb threats and a school boycott by ignorant parents, a suspicious fire destroyed the Ray’s home just as the boys were about to return to school.

Now, had there been more education about HIV and AIDS, what causes it and how it spreads, maybe these boys and their family wouldn’t have had to endure the threat of being killed just for going to school; they wouldn’t have had to lose their home, either. And, while that was 1987, and you hope things change, you realize that ignorance and lack of education and understanding about HIV and AIDS is still out there. This time in Arkansas.

The Disability Rights Center of Arkansas, Inc. [DRC] is claiming that the Pea Ridge Public School District has removed three siblings, foster children, two of whom have disabilities, from school until the children and their foster parents prove they are not HIV-positive.

Tom Masseau, Executive Director of DRC:

“The actions taken by the Superintendent of Pea Ridge School District are appalling and is reminiscent of times past and the case of Ryan White. The fact that the foster families have to provide documentation that the children are HIV negative before entering the school is unlawful and immoral. Further, the fact the school’s attorney authorized this unlawful act is at best appalling. It stigmatizes individuals with disabilities or their ‘perceived’ disabilities as there is no indication these individuals have HIV. There is only an unlawful fear that they do.”

See, no one is saying that these children are HIV-positive — that’s not the issue. The claim is that they must prove they are not HIV-positive before they can be allowed into school.

Pea Ridge Superintendent Rick Neal would not confirm or deny the allegations but did admit that, in a letter sent to the foster parents, the district cited the Arkansas School Boards Association policy as one of the reasons for their decision.  They also say they consulted the school district attorney and a private law firm.

So, it does kind of sound like they are trying to keep these kids from school because they’re foster children and foster children need to prove their HIV status before being allowed in class with, you know, the regular kids who’d never have HIV.

This whole mess began over the summer, according to the DRC, when the school district completed a review of records and found an evaluation on one of the boys that stated that his mother and one of his siblings were HIV-positive. So, as school was starting for the new year, administrators informed the foster parents that the children could not return to school until documentation was provided proving they were HIV negative.

When the DRC stepped in, knowing that the school did not have the right to deny the boys access to education based only on suspicion, the students returned to school the following day. But the school kept the boys out of class until one of the foster parents received a call on September 12 to pick up one of the boys and take him home because they had not produced the required documentation. 

Just this morning the Pea Ridge School District issued a statement:

"The Pea Ridge School District is dedicated to providing a safe environment for our students, teachers and staff. 

As reported in the media, the district has recently required some students to provide test results regarding their HIV status in order to formulate a safe and appropriate education plan for those children.  This rare requirement is due to certain actions and behaviors that place students and staff at risk.  The district respects the privacy and confidentiality of all students.  It's is very unfortunate that information regarding this situation is being released by outside organizations. 

Our goal is to provide the best education for every student, including those in questions, in a responsible, respectful and confidential manner."

Here’s the deal: this school district is discriminating against foster children because they do not require non-fostered children to prove their HIV status before they are allowed in class.

But what’s worse is that the school district is keeping alive the myth that HIV is easily transmitted, and it isn’t. Children sharing pencils are not in danger. Sitting next to an HIV-positive student doesn’t increase your risk. Sure, there are precautions, but they involve mostly the mingling of bodily fluids, not the mingling of students in a classroom.

You’d think we would have learned more than that by now, but I guess in places like Arkansas, and the Pea Ridge School District, it’s still 1987.

Suspended Siblings

The Ray Family

WTF: Cate Blanchett

I loves me some Cate Blanchett. She's one of those actresses I would see in any movie she does. i also love her sense of fashion, though sometimes it borders on a little wacky.

Like that outfit up there.

I saw it, thought it reminded me of something and then it hit me: she raided Roseanne Conner's house for that afghan on the back of the couch.

Didn't she?

Being Out. Being Alive. Being

So, one day last week I posted that Michael Jordan’s daughter, Jasmine, had come out as gay. I’ve done lots of posts about people coming out, people in all walks of life. I’m a firm believer that everyone should come out — at the time of their choosing, I’ll say, because I don’t want to out anyone myself — because it shows the world who we are; that we are all kinds of people, black, white, Asian, tall short thin fat, male female, Christians, Muslim, Catholic, conservative, liberal. It shows the world that we are no different that straight people except in that one area of whom we love.

But it does make a difference when we come out.

Now, I have set my blogger posts to post on my Facebook page as well, so when the story about Jasmine Jordan came up, one Facebook friend responded thusly:

“Bob,who really cares... as long as she's a good person gay or straight. I used to like it when personal things was [sic] personal.”

Well that is true, of course, but since people seem to like to demonize what they don’t know, I think that staying closeted adds to that demonization; it makes it seem like the closeted gay person feels some sort of shame at being gay, and they might, but it isn’t shameful, it’s who you are. It’s like having blue eyes and brown hair; it’s part of a person, and shouldn’t be used to make anyone feel shame.

I responded to that friend:

“I think people coming out are important. Hiding is bad, it only sends a message that there is something to be ashamed of, and that's never good.”

And he said:

“Bob, do straight people tell other people they are straight? It's important when rights are denied... but in everyday conversation... it need not be part of the conversation. This world is not either all gay or straight.”

Well, the world isn’t all gay or straight, it’s also everything in between, but hiding a part of who you are is never good. And hiding it consists of not saying who you are, or who you love. And who you are is a part of the conversation, unless you edit yourself to keep that part a secret, to keep that part in the closet.

When I first moved to South Carolina I was worried about being gay in a Bible-belted Red State, so I kinda opened the closet door and thought about putting one foot back in. At my first job interview here, though, I told my boss I was gay because he asked what brought me to Camden, and I said my partner had gotten a job here. Of course, my boss isn’t from here either, so I think that may have had something to do with his having a So what, who cares attitude about it.

But his response made me rethink that whole hiding thing again, and so I did come out to my new co-workers because, well, I didn’t want to hide again. I didn’t want to say ‘I’ instead of ‘We’ in case someone were to ask who the other half of ‘We’ might be, so I simply said, ‘Carlos and I…’

And I was surprised that not one person, not one person ever in the seven years we’ve lived here, has ever said a negative thing, or reacted in a negative way, or tried to distance themselves from me because I was gay.

It was a good feeling, but I realized one thing, as I said to that Facebook friend:

“Straight people don't have to tell people they're straight. Not coming out is the same as staying in the closet. I don't like it and will always applaud those who come out.”

And I will continue to recognize those gay folks that step up and step out, and offer them a copy of the Gay Agenda and the Official Coming Out Toaster Oven. I think it’s important, and I think it’s important that we continue to do it, everywhere we go. Coming out is not a one-time deal; you come out to friends, then maybe to family; then to co-workers and maybe neighbors.

But we also come out to servers in restaurants when we celebrate our anniversary and toast one another with champagne. Last year, we went to a new place for dinner on our anniversary and ordered some champagne, and when the waitress asked what we were celebrating we said it was our twelfth anniversary. She beamed and said ‘Congratulations’ and then gave us the champagne and dessert on the house.

That was nice, a little surprise, which I’m sure they give to every couple, straight or gay, who celebrates an anniversary.

But Carlos and I come out at grocery stores, too, by shopping together as a couple. We came out as a couple when we bought our house and at the furniture store when we bought a new bed. We came out buying a new car; we come out every time we travel, when we rent a car, or a hotel room. We came out when Carlos was hospitalized with appendicitis several years ago, and we came out when Carlos took me to the doctor when I had shingles a while back.

It’s a process, it is ongoing, and it is worth it. And every one of us who does it, deserves to be recognized for it.

Sure, maybe straight people don’t have to come out as straight, but that’s because we’re sort of ‘expected’ to be straight, and when we’re not, we have to let people know. We let them know so that they can see that it’s really no big deal.

I’m gay.

Tuxedo's Revenge

Yesterday when we came home from Kroger's and I found MaxGoldberg pouting on the bed because there was nothing to do, so i grabbed the camera and took his picture, really set Tuxedo off.

He likes to be photagraphed because,:
A] he's the Alhpa Cat and
2] He gawg-eous!

So, while snapping three pictures to create that triptych up there at the top of this bloggy thing, I also got one of him expressing his outrage that he was not the first cat photographed....

Motto: Start with Tuxedo:

Sunday Funnies

Caturday Starring MaxGoldberg ... of the Boca Raton Goldbergs

Remember when you were a kid and your best friend went away on vacation with his family and you had to stay home and there was nothing to do and no one to play with and your Mom would come into your room where you were pouting and tell you to go outside and Do something!??!

This is The Cat version:

I Ain't One To Gossip But ....

I hate to say I told you so, but I will … I told you so … …and I’ll add that Lohan got arrested last night for drunk driving on Long Island.

That’s right Lindsay Lo— Wait? What? What? It wasn’t Lindsay? It WASN’T Lindsay? It wasn’t Lindsay?

It was Dina “Box’o’Chardonnay” Lohan who was arrested last night with a blood alcohol level of .20; and that’s a lotta wine, and, as Dina is apt to do, whine.

Lindsay’s 50-year-old mother was pulled over on the Northern State Parkway by New York State Police around 11 pm Thursday night for ALLEGEDLY going 77mph in a 55 zone. During the stop, police say she appeared intoxicated—let that one sink in because when does Dina ever appear not intoxicated—and when they tested her she hit the .20 mark, more than twice the legal limit of .08. And in typical Dina form, she ALLEGED that she was injured during the arrest but when medical personnel arrived she was suddenly okay.

Dina Lohan was booked on two counts of driving while intoxicated and one count of speeding.

I guess now that Lindsay is out of rehab Dina has no one to drink with, so she’s doubling up on her intake. 

Wow, this is getting all kinds of creepy.

Last week I told y’all that like the Zeta-Jones-Douglas’, the Ruiz-Eastwood’s seemed headed for divorce, and that decades younger than her husband, Clint, Dina Ruiz was spending more time with her old high school boyfriend now.

Now it seems that Clint has gotten himself a new lady-friend to take the place of Wannabe-Kardashian Dina. He was recently spotted at LAX letting off a younger lovely, Erica Tomlinson Fisher. There was some thought that Erica might have been Clint’s daughter with former wife, Frances Fisher, but that turned out to be untrue.

No, y’all, Erica Tomlinson Fisher is the ex-wife of Scott Fisher. Who’s that you say? Well, Scott Fisher is Dina Ruiz’s high school boyfriend that she’s been schtupping of late.

So, Mr. Eastwood and Mrs. Fisher are hooking up while Mrs. Eastwood and Mr. Fisher do the nasty, too.

Only in Hollywood, I hope.

As you’ve no doubt already heard, media whore and daughter pimping Kris Jenner’s talk show is highly unlikely to be renewed by Fox after its lackluster six week trial run. There is no official word yet, and Kris has half-denied the show is canceled, but it seems like a done deal.

And folks that worked on the show are actually kinda happy to be unemployed. Star Magazine has an interview with an anonymous production worker from Kris’ show who says she was so difficult and stingy that they are thrilled to be out of work if it means less Kris Jenner in their lives.

The source—and it could be an angry Kardashian—says Kris would show up to the set hung-over, demand a cadre of beauty experts make her look beautiful—or at least less mannish—and was annoying to the staff and overall unbearable. And even more, the crew member says that staff members got no “extras” like they usually do on other talk show sets, and instead Kris would take all the free gifts home herself.

At the wrap party, though, she came through, I guess, by presenting those who’d worked on her show with fleece blankets; airline fleece blankets, someone called them.

But that’s Kris gimme gimme gimme Jenner.

Onto Lamar Odom.

He recently checked into rehab, somewhere, following the insistence of obviously soon-to-be ex-wife Khloe Kardashian that he get help, except that now Khloe is whining that she has had no contact with him and, in fact, doesn’t even know where he went for treatment.

Now, is that shady, or is it smart?

Some say Lamar is likely avoiding Khloe so her family — really just Kris — can’t leak stories about him to the press, though It turns out that even going to rehab in secret, and not telling his fame-whoring wife and mother-in-law, doesn’t work well.

Lamar checked into rehab Wednesday morning and checked out Thursday afternoon, making his rehab stint even shorter than a Lohan stay, and now Khloe is furious that husband is keeping her in the dark and his camp is also freezing her out.

Maybe, just maybe, though, Lamar is keeping himself away because all of those nasty stories about his infidelities and drug problems are being leaked to the press by a Kardashian.

Not so shocking, really.

Do you think Gwyneth Paltrow ever lets her kids have a French fry? I mean, it seems like she’s constantly revising what she says about her children’s eating habits, going from the story that get Oreos and a soda one day per week, to the times she says she put them on a no-carbohydrates diet. Makes one wonder what Paltrow’s hubby, Chris Martin — who avoids being seen with her in public at almost all costs — feels about his kids and their diet.

Now, it turns out, that he’s the Junk Food Daddy. While Paltrow went off to do a bookstore gig for that cookbook she, um, “wrote" — ‘It’s All Good’ — Chris took Apple and Moses to McDonalds. And when Gwyneth deigned to reunite with her family, her eagle eyes spotted a McDonald’s wrapper on the floor of the car and she exploded.

“I thought I asked you to take them for a healthy lunch.”

“McDonalds has healthy choices from the fast food menu!”

But, um, I’m guessing it was a Big Mac wrapper Paltrow found, and after sniffing it, and licking it, she began her tirade.

Swifty and JLo? Lordy, how creepy is that? 

A few weeks ago, Jennifer made a surprise guest appearance on stage with Taylor Swift as part of Swift’s concert in LA. They sang “Jenny From The Block” together and all seemed well, but, um, yeah, behind the scenes, not so much.

Apparently JLo was rude to some of Swifty’s fans — they probably looked at her — and so she had her minions remind folks that the rule is no one looks at, or speaks to, La Lopez. So, now JLo is on Swifty’s Do Not Call List — and there will probably be a song about it soon — and she’s said she will never work with JLo again or even invite her to a performance.

What do you do when you were once the King of the Summer Movie but your last film sank faster than Miley Cyrus’ reputation?

Well, if you’re Will Smith, whose last film AfterEarth  — which will be retitled AfterEarth When Will's Career Tanked in DVD and BluRay release  — bombed big time, you suddenly head back to the beginning and sign on for that sequel to Independence Day.

According to director Roland Emmerich, they’re currently “in discussions”, which is probably code for “trying to satisfy Will Smith’s insane salary demands and seeing if we have a bit role for Jaden.”

Or, maybe Jaden will get the lead, and soon to be has-been Daddy Will will get the cameo part.

We haven’t heard much from Mel Gibson lately, not that I’m complaining, but the drunk-driving, anti-Semitic, adulterer, girlfriend batterer is well-known for not tolerating people, especially the police.

This may explain his ill-temper recently when Melvin was stopped while driving down the PCH [Pacific Coast Highway] in Malibu with a “female passenger”.

To be fair, the police were satisfied that he hadn’t been drinking and let him go, but Mel apparently became enraged by the inconvenience and started screaming at them when they asked him to show them his license, and Mel didn’t have it on him. At that point deputies told Mel to go to a secondary screening spot, and that’s when Gibson got angry, shrieking at officers, “Why are you harassing me?”  When a deputy asked why Mel was screaming and he responded, “I have had problems with you Lost Hills [Malibu] deputies in the past.”

After his little hissy fit, officers let him go with a warning to carry a license, maybe.

Poor Melvin. He used to be a big star, and now he’s just a big drunk douche.

Speaking of douches ….

Miley Cyrus is one hot mess. I mean, besides that whole ridiculous “Look at me, I’m edgier than Madonna” VMA performance, or her new all-nude review on a wrecking ball and going down on a hammer.

No, her hot messiness is so bad that she’s pissed off the one person in the world that no one, NO ONE, should ever piss off: Anna Wintour.

Wintour is said to be so repulsed by Cyrus’, for lack of a better word, performances of late, that she has canceled Miley’s magazine cover to keep the crazy from the pages of Vogue. It was just a few months back, after the Met Gala, that Anna thought Miley might be a new fashion icon, but all that changed after Miley went all tongue spouting and crotch rubbing on TV.

In fact, the photo shoot that Miley has already done, for the December issue and cover is rumored to have been scrapped entirely. ‘Anna found the whole thing distasteful,’ a source says. ‘She decided, based on Miley’s performance, to take the cover in a different direction.’

Of course, Miley will spin this and Tweet this and possibly rub her crotch all over it, while telling us that this is part of her ‘plan.’

To take over stealing from Madonna from Gaga.

More on Paltrow, who fancies herself the aboslute best parent EVER!

Except when she's trying to kill them ... as she recently did when, while taking either Kiwi or Noah, or is it Pomegranate and Bathseba ... whatever ... to school on her Vespa — because she's just so cool  — she pulled right out in front of a school bus.

Hubby Chris  — with the other child  — was only slightly more in control of his Vespa and offspring.

PS Paltrow doesn't even have a driver's license in California, and since she lives there, that against the law.