I Ain't One To Gossip But ....

I hate to say I told you so, but I will … I told you so … …and I’ll add that Lohan got arrested last night for drunk driving on Long Island.

That’s right Lindsay Lo— Wait? What? What? It wasn’t Lindsay? It WASN’T Lindsay? It wasn’t Lindsay?

It was Dina “Box’o’Chardonnay” Lohan who was arrested last night with a blood alcohol level of .20; and that’s a lotta wine, and, as Dina is apt to do, whine.

Lindsay’s 50-year-old mother was pulled over on the Northern State Parkway by New York State Police around 11 pm Thursday night for ALLEGEDLY going 77mph in a 55 zone. During the stop, police say she appeared intoxicated—let that one sink in because when does Dina ever appear not intoxicated—and when they tested her she hit the .20 mark, more than twice the legal limit of .08. And in typical Dina form, she ALLEGED that she was injured during the arrest but when medical personnel arrived she was suddenly okay.

Dina Lohan was booked on two counts of driving while intoxicated and one count of speeding.

I guess now that Lindsay is out of rehab Dina has no one to drink with, so she’s doubling up on her intake. 

Wow, this is getting all kinds of creepy.

Last week I told y’all that like the Zeta-Jones-Douglas’, the Ruiz-Eastwood’s seemed headed for divorce, and that decades younger than her husband, Clint, Dina Ruiz was spending more time with her old high school boyfriend now.

Now it seems that Clint has gotten himself a new lady-friend to take the place of Wannabe-Kardashian Dina. He was recently spotted at LAX letting off a younger lovely, Erica Tomlinson Fisher. There was some thought that Erica might have been Clint’s daughter with former wife, Frances Fisher, but that turned out to be untrue.

No, y’all, Erica Tomlinson Fisher is the ex-wife of Scott Fisher. Who’s that you say? Well, Scott Fisher is Dina Ruiz’s high school boyfriend that she’s been schtupping of late.

So, Mr. Eastwood and Mrs. Fisher are hooking up while Mrs. Eastwood and Mr. Fisher do the nasty, too.

Only in Hollywood, I hope.

As you’ve no doubt already heard, media whore and daughter pimping Kris Jenner’s talk show is highly unlikely to be renewed by Fox after its lackluster six week trial run. There is no official word yet, and Kris has half-denied the show is canceled, but it seems like a done deal.

And folks that worked on the show are actually kinda happy to be unemployed. Star Magazine has an interview with an anonymous production worker from Kris’ show who says she was so difficult and stingy that they are thrilled to be out of work if it means less Kris Jenner in their lives.

The source—and it could be an angry Kardashian—says Kris would show up to the set hung-over, demand a cadre of beauty experts make her look beautiful—or at least less mannish—and was annoying to the staff and overall unbearable. And even more, the crew member says that staff members got no “extras” like they usually do on other talk show sets, and instead Kris would take all the free gifts home herself.

At the wrap party, though, she came through, I guess, by presenting those who’d worked on her show with fleece blankets; airline fleece blankets, someone called them.

But that’s Kris gimme gimme gimme Jenner.

Onto Lamar Odom.

He recently checked into rehab, somewhere, following the insistence of obviously soon-to-be ex-wife Khloe Kardashian that he get help, except that now Khloe is whining that she has had no contact with him and, in fact, doesn’t even know where he went for treatment.

Now, is that shady, or is it smart?

Some say Lamar is likely avoiding Khloe so her family — really just Kris — can’t leak stories about him to the press, though It turns out that even going to rehab in secret, and not telling his fame-whoring wife and mother-in-law, doesn’t work well.

Lamar checked into rehab Wednesday morning and checked out Thursday afternoon, making his rehab stint even shorter than a Lohan stay, and now Khloe is furious that husband is keeping her in the dark and his camp is also freezing her out.

Maybe, just maybe, though, Lamar is keeping himself away because all of those nasty stories about his infidelities and drug problems are being leaked to the press by a Kardashian.

Not so shocking, really.

Do you think Gwyneth Paltrow ever lets her kids have a French fry? I mean, it seems like she’s constantly revising what she says about her children’s eating habits, going from the story that get Oreos and a soda one day per week, to the times she says she put them on a no-carbohydrates diet. Makes one wonder what Paltrow’s hubby, Chris Martin — who avoids being seen with her in public at almost all costs — feels about his kids and their diet.

Now, it turns out, that he’s the Junk Food Daddy. While Paltrow went off to do a bookstore gig for that cookbook she, um, “wrote" — ‘It’s All Good’ — Chris took Apple and Moses to McDonalds. And when Gwyneth deigned to reunite with her family, her eagle eyes spotted a McDonald’s wrapper on the floor of the car and she exploded.

“I thought I asked you to take them for a healthy lunch.”

“McDonalds has healthy choices from the fast food menu!”

But, um, I’m guessing it was a Big Mac wrapper Paltrow found, and after sniffing it, and licking it, she began her tirade.

Swifty and JLo? Lordy, how creepy is that? 

A few weeks ago, Jennifer made a surprise guest appearance on stage with Taylor Swift as part of Swift’s concert in LA. They sang “Jenny From The Block” together and all seemed well, but, um, yeah, behind the scenes, not so much.

Apparently JLo was rude to some of Swifty’s fans — they probably looked at her — and so she had her minions remind folks that the rule is no one looks at, or speaks to, La Lopez. So, now JLo is on Swifty’s Do Not Call List — and there will probably be a song about it soon — and she’s said she will never work with JLo again or even invite her to a performance.

What do you do when you were once the King of the Summer Movie but your last film sank faster than Miley Cyrus’ reputation?

Well, if you’re Will Smith, whose last film AfterEarth  — which will be retitled AfterEarth When Will's Career Tanked in DVD and BluRay release  — bombed big time, you suddenly head back to the beginning and sign on for that sequel to Independence Day.

According to director Roland Emmerich, they’re currently “in discussions”, which is probably code for “trying to satisfy Will Smith’s insane salary demands and seeing if we have a bit role for Jaden.”

Or, maybe Jaden will get the lead, and soon to be has-been Daddy Will will get the cameo part.

We haven’t heard much from Mel Gibson lately, not that I’m complaining, but the drunk-driving, anti-Semitic, adulterer, girlfriend batterer is well-known for not tolerating people, especially the police.

This may explain his ill-temper recently when Melvin was stopped while driving down the PCH [Pacific Coast Highway] in Malibu with a “female passenger”.

To be fair, the police were satisfied that he hadn’t been drinking and let him go, but Mel apparently became enraged by the inconvenience and started screaming at them when they asked him to show them his license, and Mel didn’t have it on him. At that point deputies told Mel to go to a secondary screening spot, and that’s when Gibson got angry, shrieking at officers, “Why are you harassing me?”  When a deputy asked why Mel was screaming and he responded, “I have had problems with you Lost Hills [Malibu] deputies in the past.”

After his little hissy fit, officers let him go with a warning to carry a license, maybe.

Poor Melvin. He used to be a big star, and now he’s just a big drunk douche.

Speaking of douches ….

Miley Cyrus is one hot mess. I mean, besides that whole ridiculous “Look at me, I’m edgier than Madonna” VMA performance, or her new all-nude review on a wrecking ball and going down on a hammer.

No, her hot messiness is so bad that she’s pissed off the one person in the world that no one, NO ONE, should ever piss off: Anna Wintour.

Wintour is said to be so repulsed by Cyrus’, for lack of a better word, performances of late, that she has canceled Miley’s magazine cover to keep the crazy from the pages of Vogue. It was just a few months back, after the Met Gala, that Anna thought Miley might be a new fashion icon, but all that changed after Miley went all tongue spouting and crotch rubbing on TV.

In fact, the photo shoot that Miley has already done, for the December issue and cover is rumored to have been scrapped entirely. ‘Anna found the whole thing distasteful,’ a source says. ‘She decided, based on Miley’s performance, to take the cover in a different direction.’

Of course, Miley will spin this and Tweet this and possibly rub her crotch all over it, while telling us that this is part of her ‘plan.’

To take over stealing from Madonna from Gaga.

More on Paltrow, who fancies herself the aboslute best parent EVER!

Except when she's trying to kill them ... as she recently did when, while taking either Kiwi or Noah, or is it Pomegranate and Bathseba ... whatever ... to school on her Vespa — because she's just so cool  — she pulled right out in front of a school bus.

Hubby Chris  — with the other child  — was only slightly more in control of his Vespa and offspring.

PS Paltrow doesn't even have a driver's license in California, and since she lives there, that against the law.

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I Didn't Say It ....

Tom Hiddleston, on having gay fans, and making their “Hot” lists:

“Honestly, I’m flattered and proud. I’ve never made a distinction, to be honest. I feel very proud that I’ve grown up as part of a generation that simply doesn’t make a distinction between gay and straight really…it just really isn’t an issue or actually it is. You know you read about what’s happening in Russia and it’s shocking but for me and the circle of friends that I grew up with, the places where I mostly spend my time, it’s like, ‘Oh. So you like strawberry ice cream and you like vanilla ice cream.’ It’s all good. It’s all ice cream. Anyway, I have many, many gay friends and so I am thrilled that they are fans.”

A fan’s sexual orientation should never be put in question.

They’re fans, not prospective lovers and life-mates.

PS: Tom Hiddleston is adorable.

Ricky Martin, on being an In-The-Closet-Homophobe:

"I was very angry, very rebellious. I used to look at gay men and think, I'm not like that, I don't want to be like that, that's not me. I was ashamed. When you're told you're wrong by everyone, from society, from your faith — my self-esteem was crushed. I took my anger out on those around me. I look back now and realize I would bully people who I knew were gay. I had internalized homophobia. To realize that was confronting to me. I wanted to get away from that."

The biggest homophobes, as I’ve always said, are those gay men, and women, still living in a closet of self-loathing.

Nice that Ricky acknowledged it.

PS: Ricky gets better looking the older he gets.

Bryan Fischer, AFA spokesbigot, on why Hillary Clinton won't win in 2016: 

"She's just going to be too old, going to be too saggy, gravity will have done too much of its mojo on her; she's just going to look old and tired next to virtually anybody that the Republicans run out there."

Pot.Kettle.Sagging bigot.

Take a look in a mirror Bryan, if saggy and old is so bad, get off’a the TV and the internet already.

Cory Booker, on the rumors that he is gay:

“I have not settled down with a life partner ... Because how unfair is it to a young lady to put them in the spotlight if they haven’t signed up for that yet? And people who think I’m gay, some part of me thinks it’s wonderful. Because I want to challenge people on their homophobia. I love seeing on Twitter when someone says I’m gay, and I say, ‘So what does it matter if I am? So be it. I hope you are not voting for me because you are making the presumption that I’m straight.’”

This is a new age of politicians and of people who are standing up and saying, ‘So what if you think I’m gay, it’s not a bad thing.’

PS: the shallow part of me, kinda wishes he was gay because he’s just adorable.

James Blake, professional tennis player who retired this week, on the anti-gay laws in Russia:

"I think everyone at this point, when you look at numbers, someone in your circle, whether it's a family member or a friend, is gay, transgender, or bisexual. You should appreciate that those people are valued members of society, people that are doing something good in the world. They should feel comfortable to live their lives. I think any sort of policy that discriminates against them, that excludes them, is completely unfair in today's day and age. That's why I say we're 50 years out and there are still things going on that are discriminatory."

It’s true, it’s not just anti-gay laws and sentiments, it’s about valuing all people. This is just another brand of discrimination we have to rid ourselves of so we can move on.

PS: he's all kinds of hot.

Francis George, Chicago's Catholic Cardinal, on marriage equality: 

"This is first of all a rational issue before it's a faith issue. That is, it's nature that tells us what marriage is, that in marriage, men and women aren't interchangeable. We didn't invent marriage. The church didn't invent marriage. Nature gives us marriage. The Chinese are not Americans, and they're not Catholic. They know what marriage is. Where did that come from?"

Um, Frankie George, take a look at your Bible and see where it says marriage is one man and one woman, or one man, one woman and a concubine, or one man and one woman as property, or one man and a couple of women, or one man and the wife of his dead brother.

It’s in Genesis if you need help.

Check out Deuteronomy where it says a man who rapes a virgin is married to her.  Or where it says, in times of war, men kill all the men women and children, except for the virgins, who become their wives.  Or Exodus where a slave owner tells a male slave who he marries.

You didn’t invent marriage, but you sure have effed it up over the years.

Miley Cyrus, speaking out about her much-discussed VMAs performance.

"I don't pay attention to the negative because I've seen this play out so many times. How many times have we seen this play out in pop music? Madonna's done it. Britney's done it. Every VMA performance, that's what you're looking for; you're wanting to make history. Me and Robin the whole time we said, 'you know we're about to make history right now.' What's amazing is I think now, we're three days later and people are still talking about it. They're over thinking it. You're thinking about it more than I thought about it when I did it. Like, I didn't even think about it 'cause that's just me."

You’re not Madonna. Hell, you aren’t even Britney.

You’re a little girl who’s grown up in the spotlight and is looking for a way to stay there, and when that’s all you are, you’ll soon be nowhere fast.

Zachary Quinto, on coming out and how he hopes it will soon stop:

“It really shouldn’t be a f—ing issue. You know what I mean? I understand people’s interest in having a conversation with me about it, but I also feel like, ‘Let’s stop having that conversation and just have the conversation about how we can continue to encourage the evolution and change that’s already brought us so far.’”

I like knowing who is gay and straight, but we never ask the question of our celebrities, ‘Are you straight’ we just ask the Gay question.

I’d like a day where it doesn’t matter and people just are gay and straight and everything in between, without question or judgment.

PS: Yes, adorable.

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Random Musings

So, Miley Cyrus at the VMAs. I missed it, but caught the endless run of videos posted online. Was it The Worst Thing Ever? Nope, it was just Plain Awful. The dancing; the flat-assed twerking; the inability to carry a tune; the tongue.

But Miley perseveres and says she rocked more Tweets than the Superbowl, though she fails to realize most of the Tweets regarding her “performance” were of the WTF variety.

My fave Tweet? Kelly Clarkson, who didn’t mention Cyrus by name, but hashtagged her Tweets with #pitchystrippers.

Thanks Kelly!

Ted Cruz was born of one American parent and one Canadian parent, and this raised the questions about his dual citizenship, and Is he American enough to be President — and don't get me started on the question of is he qualified, because he isn't — which had all of Teabagistan a'twitterin' and all the Twitterstan a'teabaggin' last week.

Then Cruz, heckled for his dual citizenship, announced he would renounce his Canadian citizenship and the whole of Canada breathed a sigh of relief, and muttered, He's all yours now, eh?

I’ve often marveled at the ignorance of people on the Right; and don’t get all pissy, I know some folks on the left are playing hockey with a warped puck … have splinters in the windmills of their minds … but it always seems that the Right has the market cornered on stupidity.

Birthers. ‘Nuff said.

But now there’s this: a recent poll by Public Policy Polling found that 29% of respondents in Louisiana blamed President Obama for the poor response following Hurricane Katrina. And just 28% blamed President Bush.

That’s right; more Louisianans think Obama was to blame for what happened after Katrina, apparently failing to realize the hurricane hit a full three years before Obama took office.

And possibly just as stupid: 44% said they weren’t sure who to blame.

Louisiana, you need to sit down.

Taos County, New Mexico began issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples this week, making it the sixth county in the state to do so following Doña Ana, Santa Fe, Bernalillo, San Miguel, and Valencia.

That means that more than half of New Mexicans — 56.2% to be exact — now live in marriage equality counties.

The march goes on ….

So, before we left on vacation Carlos and I watched What’s Your Number with Ana Faris on the DVR. Funny, kinda raunchy; we liked it. 

Of course, we also loved that Chris Evans appears either nude, in his underwear, or without a shirt quite a bit in the film. But he wasn’t the only Man Candy.

Anthony Mackie and Oliver Jackson-Cohen were also in the film, raising the heat Index a couple of notches.

Just sayin’.

Former Illinois Republican Party Chair Pat Brady, who resigned last May after being targeted by his own party for supporting marriage equality, has a new gig.

He’s been hired by the ACLU of Illinois to lobby state lawmakers — "Republicans and other like-minded folks, but primarily Republicans" —to back the bill.

Brady, who said this earlier this year, "Giving gay and lesbian couples the freedom to get married honors the best conservative principles. It strengthens families and reinforces a key Republican value - that the law should treat all citizens equally," admits it’s an uphill fight because some republicans face reelection next year.

Yeah, more concerned about their own reelection than about equality.

Way to go GOP.

And, speaking of the GOP and Marriage Equality — nice segue, eh? — there is a proposed amendment to the bylaws of the Alabama Republican Party would remove from the Party’s steering committee any member who publicly supports a position contrary to the most recent GOP platform, which was adopted during the 2012 Republican National Convention.

Yes, in Alabama, if you disagree with the party platform, you’re out.

Party insiders say the proposed amendment was written as a direct result of comments made by current Alabama College Republicans Chairwoman Stephanie Petelos around the time the Supreme Court ruled the Defense of Marriage Act unconstitutional. Petelos posted this to her Facebook page, “We just [love] freedom and fun. That’s all. Don’t hate.” And then encouraged her friends to “Like” a page for a pro-same-sex marriage group called “Young Conservatives for the Freedom to Marry.”

Petelos joined the group because she believes “all people deserve to be treated equally under the law.”

And now the Alabama GOP wants her out.

That darn GOP! So inclusive!

Ben Affleck as Batman? Oh hell-to-the-No.

Christian Bale is Batman; Affleck will take away the darker, brooding Batman, and make him more the comic cut-up Batman of the Keaton-Kilmer-Clooney years.

Seriously? Ben Affleck?

Y’all remember Daniel Hernandez Jr.? The former intern to Gabby Giffords who is credited with helping save her life when she was shot in 2011?

Now, Hernandez, an elected member of a Tucson-area school board, is facing a nasty recall election in which anonymous opponents are attacking him because he’s gay and because he works on behalf of gun violence prevention. But the tactics being used against Hernandez are sick and stupid, even for Arizona.

Apparently there are two flyers that Hernandez’s opponents are, ahem, ALLEGEDLY handing out to parents when they’re dropping their children off at schools in the district. The first attacks Hernandez for being openly gay, imploring, “Put a REAL Man on the Sunnyside Board...Daniel Hernandez is LGBT...We need someone who will support Sports and cares about our kids. We don’t need someone who hates our values.”

Yes. He’s gay so he’s not a real man; he’s gay so he knows nothing of sports.

Grow the eff up Arizona.

This one makes me giggle.

Fundamentalist Preacher Doug Seahorne wrote a book about child-rearing called Bible Principles of Child Discipline (from the book of Proverbs). In the pre-publication stage of his book, he looked for an image of that so-called wholesome American family to grace the cover and he Googled his search, finding what he deemed the perfect picture to embody the Biblical principles of disciplining one's child: a picture of a loving husband and wife with their two beautiful daughters and one adorable son.

Trouble is that Seahorne chose Modern Family's dysfunctional Dunphy family, who in addition to being the intellectual property of Disney, are probably not the Bible-thumping, praise Jesus, discipline your kids a la God family he intended.

And, when Seahorne learned of his error, he took to Facebook say he didn’t know the picture was from a “wicked TV show involving a gay couple!"

Wicked funny, Rev, wicked funny.

Then he excused himself because he hasn’t watched TV in 35 years and because he assumed results on Google Image Search were not copyrighted.

Perhaps the Pastor should join the rest of us in the 21st century?

Note to readers:

If you try to take that little piece of stonework on a plane with you, the TSA will stop you and search your bags.

Don’t believe me? Ask the still-trembling-as-his-bag-was-searched Carlos.

This past Tuesday on the Christian Broadcasting Network’s 700 Club bigot, homophobe, idiot and dumbass Pat Robertson said that gay men in cities like San Francisco attempt to spread HIV/AIDS to others by cutting them with a special ring when shaking hands.

It all started with a question from a woman who wondered if her church should inform her that a man she was driving to worship services is “dying of AIDS.” 

Robertson, who apparently hasn’t read anything on the topic in some 30 years, admitted that he “used to think it was transmitted by saliva and other things, now they say it may be sexual contact.” Then he added, and rightly so, “unless there’s a cut or some bodily fluid transmission, I think you’re not going to catch it.”

But he didn’t stop there: “There are laws now, I think the homosexual community has put these draconian laws on the books that prohibit people from discussing this particular affliction, you can tell somebody you had a heart attack, you can tell them they’ve got high blood pressure, but you can’t tell anybody you’ve got AIDS.”

His co-host Terry Meeuwsen tried to steer the conversation away from Robertson’s anti-gay paranoia, but then Pat Robertson began talking about the “special rings” that gay people use to spread HIV: “You know what they do in San Francisco, some in the gay community there they want to get people so if they got the stuff they’ll have a ring, you shake hands, and the ring’s got a little thing where you cut your finger. Really. It’s that kind of vicious stuff, which would be the equivalent of murder.”

Yes, Christian Broadcasting Network employee Pat “Conspiracy theory” Robertson said that, and then CBN got to work, not reprimanding their paid Lunatic In Chief, but in removing any sign of the video from YouTube.

Robertson issued a non-apology, saying he “regret(s) that my remarks had been misunderstood, but this often happens because people do not listen to the context of remarks which are being said.” But, um, yeah, here is exactly what he said:

“I was asked by a viewer whether she had a right to leave her church because she had been asked to transport an elderly man who had AIDS and about whose condition she had not been informed. My advice was that the risk of contagion in those circumstances was quite low and that she should continue to attend the church and not worry about the incident.

In my own experience, our organization sponsored a meeting years ago in San Francisco where trained security officers warned me about shaking hands because, in those days, certain AIDS-infected activists were deliberately trying to infect people like me by virtue of rings which would cut fingers and transfer blood.”

Right in context.

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I Ain't One To Gossip But ....

Miley Cyrus is trying so hard to reinvent herself that she’s gone back to the past on us.

Apparently Miley thinks it still nineteen-ninety-something because she’s dressing like some chick out of a 90s music video, and she’s ALLEGEDLY druggin’ like it’s twenty years ago.

See, it seems that pot isn’t Miley’s only vice. Guests at last May’s Met Ball are now saying that they saw Miley snorting something suspicious in the ladies’ room, in full view of partygoers! How very Sex and the City when Carrie meets Big's model girlfriend in the loo of her.

One source—and you’d know it was Lohan if she wasn’t locked up and if Anna Wintour would ever allow her within a hundred yards of the Met Ball—says, “I went into the bathroom and saw four girls trying to squeeze into a shall. They door was open, so people could see. They were screaming and laughing and being so loud. Miley put her finger over one nostril, bent down over the back of the toilet, and snorted a white powder off it. I watched her do it.”

Could be true, you know, and could maybe not be true. What is true is that after twenty-some minutes in the ladies room, Miley and her chain-smoking, white powder snorting friends were asked to leave.

Snorting a line … off a toilet. On the bright side, I guess now we know what Miley means when she sings “trying to get a line in the bathroom” off her new song, ‘We Can’t Stop.’

I’m having a flashback to the 90s so what is Miley doing there?

Lindsay Lohan is in the third rehab she’s tried in her latest stab at sobriety and she’s talking again about how she wants to switch just one more time.

She claims she’s off Adderall, a drug she once vehemently denied she ever took, and when she gets out of hiding she want to, um, I quote, “go deep into hiding.” Which I think means a private room at Chateau Marmont.

Sources close to Lindsay—you know, the ones who make their living off Lohan, like her Momager Dina and her fame-whore daddy, Michael—say that Lindsay now realizes she’s been powerless in combating her addictions, and says cities like New York and L.A. only feed her demons, so she wants to get out of there and fast.

Lindsay says she plans to move somewhere in the US where there are no paparazzi.

I’m thinking under a bar in a backroom at the Shrangri-La room in Akron’s Howard Johnson Motor Lodge because you know the minute she gets out next month she’ll be clubbing and partying and denying until the next time a judge sends her packing, then unpacking, then packing, and unpacking, and packing again.

Heads up square states, Lindsay’s coming at ya!

Jennifer Lopez is a whore. Not the sex kind of whore, but the money kind of whore. She’s also a big-assed hypocrite.

It seems Jello—as Carlos calls her—earned about $1.4 million last month performing at a birthday celebration for the president of Turkmenistan, Gurbanguly Berdymukhamedov.

Seriously? That’s his name? Whatevs ….

But Human Rights Watch describes as Turkmenistan “one of the world’s most repressive countries” where Internet use is severely restricted—social media is completely outlawed—and all electronic and television communication is monitored. In addition, Turkmenistan does not allow freedom of thought or religion, homosexuality is punishable by law, and the authorities have been known to demolish homes and forcibly evict residents without any form of compensation.

But hey, it’s the big guy’s birthday and JLo needs some spending money so, why not?

Though now Jello is claiming she knew nothing about Turkmenistan, and is insisting she’d never have performed there had she known. But, um, Jello? Doers no one in your camp have a brain, and do you severely restrict Internet usage so that your peeps had no idea what you were doing and for whom?

Or, as is probably the case, was it just about the money? Which you gave to charity right?

:::crickets:::::

This is nothing new for Lopez. Last year she also performed in Russia at the wedding of an Uzbek businessman. ALLEGEDLY for $1m, and for Azeri oligarch Telman Ismailov, ALLEGEDLY for another $1.4m. Before each of these performances[?] Jello refused to discuss the country’s human rights situation during a phone-in interview, saying, about the jailed punk band Pussy Riot, “I don’t like to talk politics, to be quite honest.”

To be quite honest, she just wants to make as much money as she can and doesn’t care from where it comes.

Whore. Hypocrite.

Who knew Martha Stewart was such a, well, in her words, tart?

While appearing on Watch What Happens Live, Andy Cohen played a game called ‘Did Martha Do It?’ with Maggie Gyllenhaal. Maggie answered questions about Martha before Martha herself confirmed whether or not Maggie was correct.

Maggie said no to the sexting question, but Martha shook her head, confirming that she does love to send some X-rated texts.

More importantly, though, Martha hinted that she may have had a threesome before and I'm thinking Rosie and Donald Trump, which explains their feud.

I wonder if Martha corrects the grammar in her incoming sexts?

Just sayin’.

Oh Alec Baldwin. Ever since his last, or better yet, most recent, tirade, he’s been getting all sorts of bad press and is now whining about it.

Y’all remember he went all homophobic on Twitter last week when a  reporter suggested Baldwin’s wife, the aptly named Hilaria, was Tweeting during James Gandolfini’s funeral.

Well, Baldwin apologized—sort of—for his bad temper, and deleted his Twitter account, and now says he’s going to give up Twitter altogether.

Because James Gandolfini would have wanted it that way. Huh?

“I went to Jimmy Gandolfini’s funeral, and when I was there I realized Jimmy Gandolfini didn’t have Twitter. Jimmy Gandolfini was so beloved as a person, and he was so admired as an actor, and he didn’t give a f**k about social media. I really learned a lesson at the funeral. I said to myself, ‘This is all a waste of time’. Meaning it’s fun sometimes, but less and less and less. It’s just another chink in your armor for people to come and kill you. I stopped and said to myself, ‘I’m going to try where I just don’t do this anymore’.”

Seriously, Alec?

Um, Twitter can be fun, but Twitter isn’t fun when you use it to threaten and bully folks you don’t like, so don’t play this all on Gandolfini. You aren’t on Twitter because you’re a bully with anger management issues and you might find your career in the toilet if you keep it up.

So, like I said last week, STFU.

50 Cent, AKA Curtis-s-s-s Jackson, has been charged with attacking his ex-girlfriend, and baby mama, and ALLEGEDLY trashing her apartment. He has been charged with domestic violence and four counts of vandalism and could face up to five years in jail and $46,000 in fines.

During an argument, the woman told police, Jackson began destroying her property before she locked herself into her bedroom. She said Jackson kicked open the bedroom door and kicked her, causing injury. Police said they estimated about $7,100 in damage to the woman’s home. Jackson had already left when officers arrived.

50 Cent couldn’t be reached for comment.

Seriously, who does he think he is, Chris Brown?

Dina Lohan, Momwhore of the Year, says Lindsay will be moving back to New York to live with her once she gets out of her rehab lockdown.

I guess that whole go somewhere where there’s no press thing is over, huh?

Still Dina says a lot of things, and most of the time she’s drunk or high, sigh, ALLEGEDLY, so who knows if any of this is true, but, Lindsay living with Dina?

Dina who never met a bottle of chardonnay she didn’t want to make love to? Dina, who was, no matter how she spins it, drunk as hell on Dr. Phil? Dina, who, again ALLEGEDLY, beat and cut Lindsay during a coke-fueled and alcohol-riddled limo ride from an NYC club back to Long island? That Dina?

Yeah, this bodes well for sobriety.

Jamie Foxx, Oscar winner—and what the hell kind of oxymoron is that?—is ALLEGEDLY furious that he is being by his “White House Down” co-star, and owner of the most glorious ass in cinema today, Channing Tatum, and he is not happy.

Tatum and Foxx have worked nonstop to promote the film, but Foxx has played second fiddle to rising star Tatum, who’s been deluged with questions about his skyrocketing career and new baby girl. And, also ALLEGEDLY, fans at the premiere in Washington, D.C., were practically shoving Jamie out of the way to get a picture with Channing.

Ouch.

Jamie feels that he should be the star of the show everywhere he goes and yet now all the questions he get start off with, ‘What’s it like to work with Channing?’ or ‘Have you seen Channing’s new baby yet?’ or ‘Can you ask Channing to take his pants off?’

Okay, that last one may have been my question.

Still, after three top box-office films in a row—21 Jump Street, The Vow, and Magic Mike­—Tatum is the one people want.

Better luck next time, Jamie. Maybe a movie with Mel Gibson? Then reporters will wanna talk to you.

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