I Ain't One To Gossip But ....

I hate to say I told you so, but I will … I told you so … …and I’ll add that Lohan got arrested last night for drunk driving on Long Island.

That’s right Lindsay Lo— Wait? What? What? It wasn’t Lindsay? It WASN’T Lindsay? It wasn’t Lindsay?

It was Dina “Box’o’Chardonnay” Lohan who was arrested last night with a blood alcohol level of .20; and that’s a lotta wine, and, as Dina is apt to do, whine.

Lindsay’s 50-year-old mother was pulled over on the Northern State Parkway by New York State Police around 11 pm Thursday night for ALLEGEDLY going 77mph in a 55 zone. During the stop, police say she appeared intoxicated—let that one sink in because when does Dina ever appear not intoxicated—and when they tested her she hit the .20 mark, more than twice the legal limit of .08. And in typical Dina form, she ALLEGED that she was injured during the arrest but when medical personnel arrived she was suddenly okay.

Dina Lohan was booked on two counts of driving while intoxicated and one count of speeding.

I guess now that Lindsay is out of rehab Dina has no one to drink with, so she’s doubling up on her intake. 

Wow, this is getting all kinds of creepy.

Last week I told y’all that like the Zeta-Jones-Douglas’, the Ruiz-Eastwood’s seemed headed for divorce, and that decades younger than her husband, Clint, Dina Ruiz was spending more time with her old high school boyfriend now.

Now it seems that Clint has gotten himself a new lady-friend to take the place of Wannabe-Kardashian Dina. He was recently spotted at LAX letting off a younger lovely, Erica Tomlinson Fisher. There was some thought that Erica might have been Clint’s daughter with former wife, Frances Fisher, but that turned out to be untrue.

No, y’all, Erica Tomlinson Fisher is the ex-wife of Scott Fisher. Who’s that you say? Well, Scott Fisher is Dina Ruiz’s high school boyfriend that she’s been schtupping of late.

So, Mr. Eastwood and Mrs. Fisher are hooking up while Mrs. Eastwood and Mr. Fisher do the nasty, too.

Only in Hollywood, I hope.

As you’ve no doubt already heard, media whore and daughter pimping Kris Jenner’s talk show is highly unlikely to be renewed by Fox after its lackluster six week trial run. There is no official word yet, and Kris has half-denied the show is canceled, but it seems like a done deal.

And folks that worked on the show are actually kinda happy to be unemployed. Star Magazine has an interview with an anonymous production worker from Kris’ show who says she was so difficult and stingy that they are thrilled to be out of work if it means less Kris Jenner in their lives.

The source—and it could be an angry Kardashian—says Kris would show up to the set hung-over, demand a cadre of beauty experts make her look beautiful—or at least less mannish—and was annoying to the staff and overall unbearable. And even more, the crew member says that staff members got no “extras” like they usually do on other talk show sets, and instead Kris would take all the free gifts home herself.

At the wrap party, though, she came through, I guess, by presenting those who’d worked on her show with fleece blankets; airline fleece blankets, someone called them.

But that’s Kris gimme gimme gimme Jenner.

Onto Lamar Odom.

He recently checked into rehab, somewhere, following the insistence of obviously soon-to-be ex-wife Khloe Kardashian that he get help, except that now Khloe is whining that she has had no contact with him and, in fact, doesn’t even know where he went for treatment.

Now, is that shady, or is it smart?

Some say Lamar is likely avoiding Khloe so her family — really just Kris — can’t leak stories about him to the press, though It turns out that even going to rehab in secret, and not telling his fame-whoring wife and mother-in-law, doesn’t work well.

Lamar checked into rehab Wednesday morning and checked out Thursday afternoon, making his rehab stint even shorter than a Lohan stay, and now Khloe is furious that husband is keeping her in the dark and his camp is also freezing her out.

Maybe, just maybe, though, Lamar is keeping himself away because all of those nasty stories about his infidelities and drug problems are being leaked to the press by a Kardashian.

Not so shocking, really.

Do you think Gwyneth Paltrow ever lets her kids have a French fry? I mean, it seems like she’s constantly revising what she says about her children’s eating habits, going from the story that get Oreos and a soda one day per week, to the times she says she put them on a no-carbohydrates diet. Makes one wonder what Paltrow’s hubby, Chris Martin — who avoids being seen with her in public at almost all costs — feels about his kids and their diet.

Now, it turns out, that he’s the Junk Food Daddy. While Paltrow went off to do a bookstore gig for that cookbook she, um, “wrote" — ‘It’s All Good’ — Chris took Apple and Moses to McDonalds. And when Gwyneth deigned to reunite with her family, her eagle eyes spotted a McDonald’s wrapper on the floor of the car and she exploded.

“I thought I asked you to take them for a healthy lunch.”

“McDonalds has healthy choices from the fast food menu!”

But, um, I’m guessing it was a Big Mac wrapper Paltrow found, and after sniffing it, and licking it, she began her tirade.

Swifty and JLo? Lordy, how creepy is that? 

A few weeks ago, Jennifer made a surprise guest appearance on stage with Taylor Swift as part of Swift’s concert in LA. They sang “Jenny From The Block” together and all seemed well, but, um, yeah, behind the scenes, not so much.

Apparently JLo was rude to some of Swifty’s fans — they probably looked at her — and so she had her minions remind folks that the rule is no one looks at, or speaks to, La Lopez. So, now JLo is on Swifty’s Do Not Call List — and there will probably be a song about it soon — and she’s said she will never work with JLo again or even invite her to a performance.

What do you do when you were once the King of the Summer Movie but your last film sank faster than Miley Cyrus’ reputation?

Well, if you’re Will Smith, whose last film AfterEarth  — which will be retitled AfterEarth When Will's Career Tanked in DVD and BluRay release  — bombed big time, you suddenly head back to the beginning and sign on for that sequel to Independence Day.

According to director Roland Emmerich, they’re currently “in discussions”, which is probably code for “trying to satisfy Will Smith’s insane salary demands and seeing if we have a bit role for Jaden.”

Or, maybe Jaden will get the lead, and soon to be has-been Daddy Will will get the cameo part.

We haven’t heard much from Mel Gibson lately, not that I’m complaining, but the drunk-driving, anti-Semitic, adulterer, girlfriend batterer is well-known for not tolerating people, especially the police.

This may explain his ill-temper recently when Melvin was stopped while driving down the PCH [Pacific Coast Highway] in Malibu with a “female passenger”.

To be fair, the police were satisfied that he hadn’t been drinking and let him go, but Mel apparently became enraged by the inconvenience and started screaming at them when they asked him to show them his license, and Mel didn’t have it on him. At that point deputies told Mel to go to a secondary screening spot, and that’s when Gibson got angry, shrieking at officers, “Why are you harassing me?”  When a deputy asked why Mel was screaming and he responded, “I have had problems with you Lost Hills [Malibu] deputies in the past.”

After his little hissy fit, officers let him go with a warning to carry a license, maybe.

Poor Melvin. He used to be a big star, and now he’s just a big drunk douche.

Speaking of douches ….

Miley Cyrus is one hot mess. I mean, besides that whole ridiculous “Look at me, I’m edgier than Madonna” VMA performance, or her new all-nude review on a wrecking ball and going down on a hammer.

No, her hot messiness is so bad that she’s pissed off the one person in the world that no one, NO ONE, should ever piss off: Anna Wintour.

Wintour is said to be so repulsed by Cyrus’, for lack of a better word, performances of late, that she has canceled Miley’s magazine cover to keep the crazy from the pages of Vogue. It was just a few months back, after the Met Gala, that Anna thought Miley might be a new fashion icon, but all that changed after Miley went all tongue spouting and crotch rubbing on TV.

In fact, the photo shoot that Miley has already done, for the December issue and cover is rumored to have been scrapped entirely. ‘Anna found the whole thing distasteful,’ a source says. ‘She decided, based on Miley’s performance, to take the cover in a different direction.’

Of course, Miley will spin this and Tweet this and possibly rub her crotch all over it, while telling us that this is part of her ‘plan.’

To take over stealing from Madonna from Gaga.

More on Paltrow, who fancies herself the aboslute best parent EVER!

Except when she's trying to kill them ... as she recently did when, while taking either Kiwi or Noah, or is it Pomegranate and Bathseba ... whatever ... to school on her Vespa — because she's just so cool  — she pulled right out in front of a school bus.

Hubby Chris  — with the other child  — was only slightly more in control of his Vespa and offspring.

PS Paltrow doesn't even have a driver's license in California, and since she lives there, that against the law.