I Ain't One To Gossip But ....

Jon Bon Jovi doesn’t suffer fools, even the pint-sized ones.

It seems that the rocker, who has a reputation for being one of the hardest working men in music, says that Justin Bieber will begin to lose his, um, for lack of a better word, ‘fans’ if he continues to disappoint.

Said Bon Jovi: “Every generation has guys that do that, none of that is new. They run the risk of disrespecting their audience members who have worked hard to pay for their ticket, to give you the permission to take two or three hours of their lives — or in that kid’s case, 80 minutes of their lives. Do it once, you can be forgiven. Do it enough times and shame on you. They won’t have you back. Then it just becomes a cliché. It’s really not cool — you’re an a**hole. Go to f***in’ work!”

Bieber blames “technical issues” for one of his tardy parties, and also claims he was just forty minutes late but, when your core audience needs to be in bed by 9PM ….

PS I just had to include the picture of Bieber looking like he has to be carried in and out of cars because, well, it's high-larious! 

Y’all know I am no fan of Gwyneth Paltrow but this time I gotta hand it to her. 

See, about a year ago, both Paltrow and Kate Moss were invited to party in Mexico for Sir Phillip Green's 60th birthday; don't ask, I have no idea who he is. But the story is that Paltrow and the hard-partying CoKate Moss got into some kind of bitchfight while in Mexico and spent a year not speaking. Quelle horror!

It all started the morning that Moss woke up with her usual hangover, and stumbled out to her terrace where she spotted Gwyneth jogging on the beach.

Kate ALLEGEDLY said, “Why are jogging on vacation?” 

And Paltrow ALLEGEDLY replied, “So I don’t look like you when I get old.”

Kate then ALLEGEDLY threw some potato chips at Gwyneth and retorted: “Why don’t you eat some f—king carbs?!”

Apparently a lot of the party goers heard the exchange and had a good old-fashioned giggle fest, though Paltrow later denied it ever happened.

But, ironically, it was those damned carbs that reunited Kate, 39, and Paltrow, 40, last week when they crossed paths at a North London pizzeria. Paltrow was there with husband Chris Martin, and their kids Pear and Solomon, or something, when Kate spotted them and came over to the table. Paltrow and Moss then air-kissed and air-made-up.

Sidenote: I give Paltrow points for the ‘So I don’t look like you comment’. I mean, look at them up there. Kate is younger than Paltrow, yet looks like Joan Crawford reincarnated.

Maybe Paltrow’s on to something?

I kid.

What would you do if you found yourself pregnant from one guy while still legally married to another? And what would you do if the guy that knocked you up, after said knocking, fled to Paris while you stayed in LA getting your picture taken walking into stores and cafes? And then, what would you do if, in the final stages of your pregnancy, you flew to Paris to be with the Baby Daddy but the Baby Daddy left the City of Lights for Milan?

Yeah, it’s hard being Kim Kash Kow Kardashian.

And, while some say that Kash Kow and her momager, media-whoring, pimp, Kris Jenner, flew to Paris to confront Kanye about rarely being in the same city, much less the same continent as his Baby Mama, he decided to skip town without a word and go to a photo-shoot.

Photo-shoot? Yes. Meeting your Baby Mama in Paris? Not so much.

Sidenote: KKKK’s new lips make her look more like a drag queen than ever—no offense to actual drag queens—and, seriously, they don’t have enough money to buy shoes that fit? Those little piggies are shoved into those kitten heels.

Poor Lohan. She can’t catch a break even in rehab lockdown. I mean, first they cut off her supply of Adderall, and now she’s getting sued?

Lindsay Lohan is being sued for $5 million by the company that released her line of leggings—Lohan and Leggings!! A can’t-miss-but-did—who claim that her “drug-addled image” caused low sales.

M’kay. I might buy that argument except for the fact that you knew you were hiring Lindsay Lohan! Amirite?

DNAM, the apparel manufacturer that partnered with Lohan’s leggings line 6126, just might be suing in retaliation because Lohan is suing them over a licensing dispute; the manufacturer is now claiming that Lohan’s tarnished reputation severely hampered their ability to sell her clothing line to buyers.

In the $5 million breach-of-contract counter claim DNAM ALLEGES that while Lohan’s leggings line was initially successful—go figure, but I’m guessing it sold mostly to prostitutes and hookers—buyers began pulling away from the line because, DNAM ALLEGES, “they did not want to be associated with Lohan’s drug addled image.”

In the spring of 2011, buyers canceled appointments and customers canceled orders, noting that “no one would touch the line.” Lohan, who was in rehab at the time—again, go figure—was unable to endorse the brand and now the company says that all Lindsay’s legal woes, coupled with her ALLEGED drug and alcohol addiction, devalued the brand.

And they want $5 million. From Lohan. The girl who can’t pay her hotel bill or her lawyer.

Good luck with that!

Restaurant workers are not fans of Johnny Depp. Rumor has it that he is the world’s worst tipper, and most servers would prefer to skip his table. And now he’s gone and pissed off the kitchen staff wherever he dines.

Depp was recently spotted eating at West Hollywood’s new vegan eatery Crossroads with new girlfriend Amber Heard and he kept the waiter at his table for some twenty minutes demanding to know the sugar, salt and fat content of each item on the menu that interested him, and then demanded a list of everything that was in the dish, including any ‘secret’ ingredients not listed on the menu. Then he asked exactly how the dish would be prepared.

After the drilling and the demand for perfectly healthy food, Depp dashed outside the restaurant and chain smoked until the meal came.

Yeah. I know.

Denise Richards is now a full-time single mother of five—her three daughters along with Charlie Sheen’s twins by his third wife, Brooke Mueller, who is currently trying her 27^th stay at rehab for a crystal meth addiction.

And since the chances are both slim and none that Mueller will get her children back after this rehab stay, and since chances are slim and none that Charlie is a good parent, Sheen has figured out the best way to make sure his sons get the best parent possible. Charlie Sheen actually proposed marriage to ex-wife.

A source close to Sheen—possibly Dina Lohan on a three way call with Lindsay and Brooke at Betty Ford—says, “When Denise took Charlie’s twins into her home last December after troubled Brooke entered rehab once again, Charlie suddenly realized it was the very first time his sons had lived in a healthy environment—and the first time he’d been able to begin building a relationship with them.”

But, no matter how much cash is involved—Sheen pays Denise some $55,000 a month in child support, and pays Mueller the same—Denise says she will NOT entertain is his plan to remarry.

She’s channeling the immortal Nancy Reagan and will Just Say No.

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I Ain't One To Gossip But ....

Rihanna seems to be treading in LeAnn Rimes territory lately, getting caught up in an online ‘battle’ with a fan.

It seems that an Instagram user ms_kasharna1 responded to a picture of Rihanna and a relative with "I swear everyone in Rihanna’s family looks like they’re retarded… Must be the drugs and alcohol!”

Not nice; rude, actually. Stupid, definitely. But then Rihanna, never know to take the high road lest she’s actually high, responded by uploading an image to her Instagram of a goat and ms_kasharna1 , and then asking her followers to ‘spot the difference’. She also posted the picture on her Twitter feed, which is nearing 29.5 million followers.

To her credit, ms_kasharna1 deleted all of her Instagram photos, though on Twitter she continues to go after Rihanna:  “Rihanna looks so dirty!!! Like she hasn’t showered in days!”

Like I said, not nice, rude actually, stupid definitely, but, really, Rihanna? Did you have to respond? Did you have to sink to that level? Did you have to take it into the street?

Way to go, RiRi. I’ve changed my mind; you and Chris Brown are perfect for each other.

Look at Janice Dickenson, the self-declared World’s First Supermodel-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L!

She used to be gorgeous, then she apparently fell in love with plastic surgery and the need to [she thinks] look forever young.

She has admitted to being a plastic surgery whore and a friend of The Bo, but then she went into Face-lifting and Lip Injections and now she looks like a plastic version of herself that has been left out in the hot sun too long.

But, to listen to her talk about her surgeries in laughable:

“I had my boobs done when I was 32. Back in the Jurassic era!  I had a tummy tuck and face-lift – and so has every other woman in Hollywood! Sue me. I do Botox and Restylane. I don’t get anything in my cheeks, though. I have perfect bone structure. And my lips are mine.”

Uh huh. Methinks the photos tell another story.

“I don’t think my appearance has changed. I just think my face has matured. Do Halle or Julia or Meryl still look the same? No!”

Um, they at least look like themselves, though Janice.

Knock it off.

Need proof that The Gays can have as disastrous a marriage as The Straights, then look no further than David Tutera, of TVs My Fair Wedding.

It seems that Tutera has filed for d-i-v-o-r-c-e from his husband on ten years, Ryan Jurica, and he wants full custody of the unborn twins that are growing in a surrogate's womb right now, and then it got ugly.

Ryan Jurica is making all sorts of nasty claims about his wanna-be-an-ex-husband. See, two days before David filed papers in L.A., Ryan filed his owner papers in Connecticut and said that their 10 year marriage died, because David is addicted to, um, rent boys, er,  leased dick. Ryan claims the couple went to a therapist to make it work, but it didn’t work because David would come home smelling like Rent-a-whore.

Just like David, Ryan wants full custody of their unborn twins, though he admits that while David earns about a million a year, he doesn’t make a dime because he didn’t work while they were married. Then, I guess hoping it makes him look like the better parent, he says after David left him, he turned to The Drink and was forced to spend time in rehab. He has also been arrested once for DWI and once for being drunk in public.

Seriously, these two prove that The Gays can be just as dysfunctional and disgusting in marriage as The Straights; in fact, aren’t they just The Gay version of Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller?

So, Not-Gay-And-In-The-Closet Ryan Seacrest and Not-Beard Julianne Hough broke up.

Color me surprised. As surprised as I was when David Gest dumped Liza, or Liza dumped David; whatever.

The Seacrest-Hough [pronounced Seacrest-Huff, not the more amusing Seacrest-Ho] split occurred in mid-March after the two had been ‘dating’ for two years and the break-up seems to have taken.

Now, as if to prove he has come to terms with being dumped, comes news that Ryan has purchased a $3 million LA home for Hough. Seriously? Now, why oh why would someone buy their ex—he bought the house well after the breakup—a mansion unless, included in the mortgage, was a Silence Clause. As in don’t tell people that Ryan really swings the other way.

A former pal of the American Idol host says that, despite his goody-two-shoes-Dick-Clark-in-the-making image, Seacrest has some unusual appetites in the boudoir region, and so, to avoid having the exes spill the beans, he buys them $3 million worth of quiet.

Man, a $3 million house is an excellent return on a two-year relationship investment.

So, we talked David Tutera and Ryan Jurica, now let’s dish on their Straight Counterparts, Brooke Mueller and Charlie Sheen.

It seems that Child protective Services came to Brooke’s house and found it more of a drug den than a home and removed her twin boys—the one’s she had with her husband, Charlie Sheen before he pulled a knife on her—from the home. And they took the boys to Charlie’s house.

No. They didn‘t. Rather than take the boys to their father’s house after discovering their mother is a drug mule, the authorities actually gave Brooke and Charlie’s boys to his other ex-wife, Denise Richards.

Now, Brooke’s in hospital for drug abuse issues… again….for the, and this is not a lie or an exaggeration, the twentieth time…and after detoxing, she’ll move to a residential treatment center. Then she’ll get out and do it all over again.

Sad, really, but even sadder still is that, after Brooke entered rehab again, Denise and Charlie attended an emergency custody hearing to review the boys’ placement. The judge agreed that they should stay with Denise, who is already a single mom to three daughters under 10, and the boy’s father, Charlie, has agreed that the best place for his sons.

Not with him. With his ex-wife who isn’t their mother. Now, this may appear pathetic that he doesn’t even want his own sons, but I will commend him just this once for knowing that he is such an over-top- fuck up that he realizes his children would be better off with Denise.

Still…..anyone can have a child, or twins, these days.

I know she’s all locked up at the Betty Ford Center, but Lindsay Lohan’s crack-tivities are keeping her in the news.

It seems that Lohan doesn’t like the BFC and is trying to finagle a change of venue to a more productive rehab facility in Hawaii. Does she think she can switch rehabs like people switch hotels? Well, here’s why she hates the BFC:

She has to get up at 6:30 every morning and do chores like dress herself and make her bed and comb her weave.

She still gets to take her Adderall, but BFC doctors are evaluating Lindsay’s diagnosis and the efficacy of the drug. If doctors disbelieve her diagnosis or the usefulness of Adderall, they will cut her off.

Unlike her last stint at the BFC, Lohan will get no Day Passes to go clubbing and shopping and drug scoring.

Still, one problem with the BFC is that they only offer 30 day treatments, so Lohan might have to do the same 30-day program three times in a row. Sidenote: Lohan’s former lawyer, never paid, but hired back, Shawn Holley insists that Betty Ford does offer longer programs.

So hard to be a drug addict and stuck in rehab where you can’t party and lay by the pool all day.

If I ever go to rehab, I wanna go to a Four Season one, on a beach, with hot cabana boys.

You gotta love Robin Williams. After he, and the rest of the world, caught sight of that hideous outfit Kim Kardashian wore to the Met Ball, he Tweeted that picture: "I think I wore it better."

But, even funnier than his Tweet is the news that it was Kanye who picked out the dress for Kim. Seriously, he wanted his Baby Mama to look like a couch in a whorehouse?

Funnier still, is word that Kanye was “annoyed” and “embarrassed” that she altered it by removing the belt and adding sleeves. Yeah, a belt would have helped. Not.

And, finally, funniest of all, is that on Vogue’s website, where they featured all the Met Ball guests, they included Kanye West but basically erased the Kash Kow from sight. So what you have is Kanye holding a disembodied hand, and Kardashian MIA in the photo and in the entire gallery.

Other couples photographed together remain intact. Kardashian was the only one cropped out.

I giggle.

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