Mormon Steve Young And His Wife Come Out As LGBT Allies

So, Steve Young? Former San Francisco 49er quarterback and highly visible member of the Mormon Church? Where do you stand on LGBT equality?

Let’s say he doesn’t exactly stand with his church.

Back in 2008. Steve Young and his wife Barbara placed "No on Prop. 8" yard signs in front of their California home, a highly significant move considering how much time, and more importantly, money—upwards of $20 million—the Mormon Church had sunk into passing Prop H8.

Back then, Barbara Young explained that she had placed the sign in her yard because she has a gay brother, but her husband, Steve, stayed silent on the matter.

Until now.

Both Steve and Barbara Young are being more vocal on LGBT rights, and have agreed to be the keynote speakers in Salt Lake City at next month's convention of an LGBT Mormon group, called "Affirmation."

The Young’s released a statement thorough the Salt Lake City Tribune confirming that they will be speaking, and adding that this is "where they hope to lend their voices to the healing work of making our families, our society and our church more welcoming places for our LGBT brothers and sisters."

And this might be just the right time, as evidenced by many members of the church now changing their stance on marriage equality, but it always helped to have someone with a level of fame take that same stand.

The march goes on ….

source

Read More

Rainbow Fingernails And More Pro-Gay Stances In Russia

Emma Green Tregaro, Yelena Isinbayeva, and Mao Hjelmer

Last week at the World Track & Field Championships in Moscow, two Swedish athletes, Emma Green Tregaro and Mao Hjelmer, painted their fingernails the colors of the Rainbow Flag in support of gays and lesbians. That simple, non-vocal, non-violent, gesture raised the dander of one Yelena Isinbayeva, pole vault gold medalist who, while speaking at the games, criticized the Swedes for their silent protest of Russia’s new anti-gay legislation.

Isinbayeva, who’d just won her third world title before the home crowd, spoke about her upcoming term as a “mayor” of one of the Sochi Olympic villages and praised the anti-gay stance:

“If we allow to promote and do all this stuff on the street, we are very afraid about our nation because we consider ourselves like normal, standard people. We just live with boys with woman, woman with boys. Everything must be fine. It comes from history. We never had any problems, these problems in Russia, and we don’t want to have any in the future.”

For her part, Emma Green Tregaro said she was inspired to paint her nails like the Rainbow Flag when she arrived in Moscow for the meet: 

“The first thing that happened when I came to Moscow and pulled my curtains aside was that I saw the rainbow and that felt a little ironic. Then I had a suggestion from a friend on Instagram that maybe I could paint my nails in the colors of the rainbow and that felt like a simple, small thing that maybe could trigger some thoughts.”

Isinbayeva’s thoughts were triggered:

“It’s unrespectful to our country. It’s unrespectful to our citizens because we are Russians. Maybe we are different from European people and other people from different lands. We have our home and everyone has to respect (it). When we arrive to different countries, we try to follow their rules.”

A couple of things Miss Isinbayeva needs to know: gays are everywhere, even in Russia; they’ve been in Russia since the beginning, and will be in Russia forever. So, she needs to know that. She also needs to know that respect goes both ways, and if she wants people in the rest of the word to respect Russia, then Russia needs to respect all people, and until that happens, she’ll be seeing more Rainbow fingernails and hand-holding and flag-waving and LGBT support. And, most of all, she needs to understand that being gay is normal … for gay people; just like being straight is normal … for straight people.

And maybe she is taking a moment to rethink, because this week she released another statement:

"English is not my first language and I think I may have been misunderstood when I spoke yesterday. What I wanted to say was that people should respect the laws of other countries particularly when they are guests. But let me make it clear I respect the views of my fellow athletes, and let me state in the strongest terms that I am opposed to any discrimination against gay people on the grounds of their sexuality."

Hopefully she means this and isn’t being used as part of some propaganda machine trying to salvage the reputation of the Russian people and the upcoming games.

UPDATE: Swedish officials have told high jumper Emma Green Tregaro that her fingernails could be a violation of the competition's code of conduct. Tregaro said the Swedish track and field federation asked her to "please respect the rules" and change the color of her nails.

She painted them red: “For love … It was harder to not paint them in the rainbow than it was to choose to paint them," she said.

Meanwhile, at the same games, there were more signs of LGBT support, from Finland, when Finnish Minister of Culture & Sports Paavo Arhinmäki waved a rainbow flag from the stands.

Arhinmäki is considered somewhat of a radical politician in Finland, who actually stands up for what he believes in, no matter the consequences.

And then we had some Russian support, too, when the Russian team’s 4x400 relay won the gold at the games, and when they were presented with their medals, Kseniya Ryzhova and her teammate Tatyana Firova kissed in protest of Russia’s new anti-gay laws.

Or, did they? perhaps it was just a kiss in celebration of their victory, but, whatever the reason, it was a same-sex kiss in a country that deems that kind of behavior illegal.

If this is happening now, at these track and field events, I can only imagine what the Winter Olympics will look like.

Rainbows and flags and same-sex kisses. That would be worth watching.

Painted nails, political flash point

Russian athletes defy anti-gay law and kiss on the podium

Read More

Orlando Cruz Is Getting Married

It was big news last fall, and good news, too, when boxer Orlando Cruz came out as a gay man, and thus becoming the first openly gay male professional boxer.

And now there’s better news: Orlando Cruz has proposed to his longtime boyfriend José Manuel in a video posted to his Facebook page:

I wanted to tell you how much I need you and how much I miss you. I know you are a person that means a lot to me and that supports my career and respects it which is very important, but above all you are always there giving me that push that I need. Now more than ever that I have an important fight coming up for the World Championship. I want to tell you that you are a very special person in my life. I am a little nervous, but I want to tell you and share with your friends and my friends if you want to marry me. I want you to be part of my life and me be part of yours.

And, because this is the age of social media, José Manuel responded with his own Facebook video:

I want to say yes. I accept marrying you because I love you and adore you. Yes, I do want to marry you because I love you, I love you, I love you very much. We will keep going forward and you will see how happy we will be. I love you papi from my heart.

Congratulations to the happy, and handsome, couple!

source

Read More

Nick Symmonds Wins Silver Medal In Russia, But Should Be Given The Gold For Being An LGBT Ally

Nick Symmonds, a middle distance runner from the US, won the Silver Medal in the 800-meter at the International Association of Athletics Federations World Championship in Moscow yesterday and then made headlines when, while speaking to RIANovosti—one of the largest news agencies in Russia—and said:

"As much as I can speak out about it, I believe that all humans deserve equality as however God made them. Whether you're gay, straight, black, white, we all deserve the same rights. If there's anything I can do to champion the cause and further it, I will, shy of getting arrested."

He then dedicated his medal to his LGBT friends.

Just saying that could have gotten Symonds tossed out of the country, or even arrested, which may explain why he added:

"I respect Russians' ability to govern their people. I disagree with their laws. I do have respect for this nation. I disagree with their rules."

Nevertheless, Nick Symmonds is the first athlete to criticize Vladimir Putin and Russia’s virulently anti-LGBT laws while standing in that country.

And i think he deserves a Gold Medal just for that.

source

Read More

Good News Friday: The Coach Comes Out

Anthony Nicodemo is a sports fan, a sports fanatic. He grew up in an Italian neighborhood in New York City and heard all kinds of jokes and gay slurs; he also learned to hide his sexual orientation. And when he became a high school basketball coach, he stayed hidden. But last week, standing in front of his team, the Saunders High School basketball team, he decided to stop hiding.

It wasn’t an easy decision, or a quick one. Nicodemo had only recently found other gay coaches while browsing through Outsports online, and with the Equality Coaching Alliance. He also attended the Nike LGBT Sports Summit with hundreds of other LGBT athletes and coaches, and that was where he changed his mind. He started slowly, sending out this Tweet from the Nike summit:

Still, even after that Tweet, he worried that his coming out might spur someone into keeping him from coaching. He knew that, especially in high schools, out gay coaches are very much the minority.

"All it takes is one parent to make a lot of trouble. The school board can always find a reason to fire you if one parent with too much time on their hands wants to take you down."— Anthony Nicodemo

When he took over the boys basketball program at Saunders in 2009, the team had won only a handful of games during the previous four years; most visiting teams consider playing against Saunders an easy win.

"We always went into games and did whatever we wanted. We never ran plays before coach came along. We basically had five guys just playing street ball. No chemistry. My teammates were good, but it just wasn't there. We were known as a losing program. Nobody believed we could win. It had been 15 or 20 years since the basketball program went to the playoffs."— Matthew Clayton, who played basketball for Saunders before and after Anthony Nicodemo was named coach

The Saunders basketball team was so bad that, even after interviewing for the job, Nicodemo decided not to take it. But, after talking with officials at Saunders, and taking advice from his own coaches and friends, he saw this as an opportunity. An inner-city school with 1,200 students, Saunders provided a great deal of raw talent. If he could change the culture of the team and recruit the right players, he might turn this team around.

Nicodemo's coaching record his first two seasons was 9-29; kind of a disaster, but, for Saunders, it was considered an improvement. In the next two seasons, Saunders posted winning records and even hosted a state-tournament playoff game. Still, for Anthony Nicodemo, building the team into a kind of family was key; he realized he wasn’t a coach for basketball, but he could also be a coach for life.

"We talk about being on time, about putting in the work. There's so much to teach these kids about life, stuff they don't get at home or in the classroom. I try to prep them for college, for life in the real world."— Anthony Nicodemo

Matthew Clayton is a prime example. Arriving at school that first season, Nicodemo was advised to kick Clayton off the team; the kid was called a lost cause. But Anthony Nicodemo wasn’t having that; he met with Clayton, told him what others had suggested, and then assured him he wasn't going anywhere. Nicodemo told Clayton he would make sure he graduated.

"When coach came along my senior year, I'd already gone through two coaches. From day one, he walked in and told me I was going to get through the season, I'd pass all my classes and I'd graduate. From that day, we started running practices, everybody got along with him. He knew what he was doing. The way he treats these kids, he gives them whatever he can. He takes them on trips. He's doing everything he can to make these kids better. He made it a winning program."—Matthew Clayton

But, even with his skills as a coach, as a mentor, even with his ability take the team from a losing enterprise to a winning one, nothing prepared Anthony Nicodemo for coming out.

He first told the superintendent, who offered Nicodemo his personal and professional support; he came out to a couple of his former captains while watching Game 7 of the NBA Finals. Matthew Clayton, whom Nicodemo gave the team's "Mr. Hustle" award in 2010, was among them that night.

"It was very surprising. I just basically told him, at the end of the day he's still my coach. Nobody would have ever known. I told him what he does in his personal life is his personal life. It's his life. Whatever he does behind closed doors is up to him, nobody can judge him. I told him, 'coach, if you ever need me, if you ever get into any trouble, I'll be there. I've still got your back.'"—Matthew Clayton

But he wondered about his team; how would they react to having a gay coach?

Last Monday he called the team together with a couple of the parents, past captains and the school principal, and told them that, despite preaching the importance of honesty, he had not been forthright with them. He told them he was gay. The reaction was not the one he’d expected; his team literally embraced him.

"It was humbling. Very quickly the kids started to speak. A couple of the kids said, 'Who cares? Coach has done more for us in our lives than anyone else. We love him and we've got to focus on our goals.'"—Anthony Nicodemo

Of course, with everything being about social media, two of the team members took to Twitter to express how they felt about his coach's revelation:

With that one speech, to a locker-room of players, parents and school officials, Nicodemo became, probably, the first boys high school basketball coach in the New York City area to ever come out as gay.

And he won’t stop there. He knows it’s hard for LGBT advocates to institute sensitivity training for high school coaches and administrators, and he wants to bring that kind of training to his school, and other school in the area, for the next coach who might come out, or the next player who comes out, or for anyone who comes out.

Welcome out, Anthony.

And please accept as our gift from HOMO HQ, a copy of The Gay Agenda and the Official Coming Out Toaster Oven.

Welcome out, Anthony Nicodemo. Welcome out.

via Outsports 

Read More

Good News: Jallen Messersmith Comes Out

I admit I’d never heard the name Jallen Messersmith, but now that I have I won’t forget it.

He is twenty, the son of Tim and Chantelle Messersmith. He was born  during March Madness and the 1993 run by Michigan's Fab 5 and was named Jallen—pronounced Jalen—in homage to then-Michigan star Jalen Rose. He was raised Mormon, and bullied so mercilessly as a child that he was home-schooled. Now he plays college basketball for Benedictine College, a Catholic school in Kansas, where he was fourth in the nation in his division in blocked shots this past season.

Oh, and he’s gay. Let’s recap, a gay, former Mormon basketball star playing for a Catholic university. It seems like he was tailor-made to be bullied, but he isn’t, even after coming out to his school, and his team, last fall.

"He's a very outgoing player and if you need an example of a hustler, it's him.  He's doing the dirty work for the team. He's getting the blocks on defense, he's getting every rebound. We like him on the team."— Brett Fisher, Messersmith's teammate and best friend

Messersmith appears to be the college basketball player to come out as gay while still playing; Villanova's Will Sheridan came out after he graduated.

"When I came out, there was nobody in my sport I could. I always wanted to put it out there and I had a great experience with it and I wanted to show people it could be fine."

He will admit that coming out scared him to death, but recalls a story he told his friends after coming out, and how they all made it easier for him.

"I had gone on a date the night before and Brett came up to me when there were a group of us and he asked, 'So how did your date go last night?' And I was like, 'Well, we just kind of did this and this.' And Brett said, 'What else did you guys end up doing?' And I said, 'Well, we kind of just did stuff and we had fun.' And he was like, 'No, if I'm going to tell you specifics about what I did on my date, you're going to tell me specifics.'  It told me that I can be open about my personal life and people would listen and give input. It's like nothing different. I'm just one of the guys, who happens to like guys. He eventually got it out of me, though it took some prodding."

It’s that kind of acceptance and camaraderie and chemistry he found in the locker room with his friends and teammates that showed Jallen he could be more open with them about his sexual orientation.

He has a sister, a brother, and two adopted brothers from foster care; there are 23 cousins on his mother's side. His is a big family, and the coming out process could have been a long one, and a difficult one, but his mother says she knew Jallen was different from an early age.

"When I did come out, my mom said she knew that I was different but that she didn't know why. Growing up, I was always the really quiet, shy, nice and sweet kid. The story she brought up to me is when I was younger, I was in dance and tap and I was the only guy in class. All the girls wore pink. I had to wear everything black. I came home one day and I said I wanted to have the pink shoes and they wouldn't let me. At that point, she knew something was different."

Jallen is no longer a part of the Mormon Church, but he grew up in the faith and heard derogatory remarks about homosexuals all his life; at home, however, as if they all knew, his family offered him only love and support.

"My mom had told me all growing up that if for some reason somebody was gay, they would support them. But going to church, all I heard was 'this is bad, this is bad, this is bad.' When I heard stuff like that, all I did was try to get away from it."

But he couldn’t get away from the bullying he endured in school. Even as an athlete from a young age, Jallen was taunted for his perceived differences from the time he was about eight until he turned thirteen.

"Growing up, I was always picked on. I seldom had a guy friend growing up. I was lonely and didn't have any super-close friends. Some days I would go to my room and just cry about it. It was something I kept to myself."

Jallen kept the bullying to himself, though his parents soon suspected he was being tormented, and they pulled him out of public schools and taught him at home. He went back to public school for high school, and while the bullying continued, it lessened enough that he was able to endure it through his love of basketball.

"The people making fun of me pushed me into basketball further and made me want to be the best at basketball and get somewhere with myself. After my sophomore year, I didn't care what people thought. I grew stronger because of it and it rolls off my back now."

Jallen was a good enough player to get scholarship offers, and chose Benedictine in part to stay close to his family, though his parents, who haven’t missed a single game, are now divorced. He was still not out, and it took a tragedy to make him look at himself, and understand himself, and find the need and the drive to be open abou8t his sexual orientation.

"My freshman year, one of my teammates passed away in a car accident. When that happened, I looked at myself and asked 'What am I? What am I doing?' At that point, I had accepted that I was gay. Seeing him die young and in such a sudden manner, I didn't want something that was such a big part of what I am to be hidden. I wanted it to be something I was out about, I was proud of being and that people accepted me more. I did not want that to be hidden for the rest of my life."

At the end of the spring semester, Jallen came out to his parents, who were only and always supportive. It was because of their reaction that he decided he could, and should, come out to his team and coaches.

"During the summer I was petrified to tell my teammates. I was scared to come back and I honestly didn't know what they were going to say. I was just scared and I didn't know what to do."

He first told his coach, Ryan Moody, who took the news in stride and, like Jallen’s parents, offered unconditional support. The next day, he told the assistant coaches.

"They were there 100% for me. They said it would not make any difference in the way the team was run. And they wanted to make sure it wouldn't change my experience at the school. That was awesome. After that, I felt like I could do anything."

Anything except have a big coming out scene in the locker room.

"I didn't want to draw a ton of attention. I was going to be gay and have this side of basketball. I wanted it to be that I was still a basketball player who just happened to be gay."

Jallen’s mother helped him come out to the team by telling the mother of his best friend, Brett Fisher, that Jallen was gay. She, in turn, told her son, with Jallen’s blessing.

"I actually was surprised to hear that, but I brushed it off. We were going to be friends forever. I accept him for the person he is. It's still a normal friendship for us."—Brett Fisher

And then the news that Jallen Messersmith was gay seemed to pass from one team member to the next without Jallen having to say a word. He still had mixed emotions about coming out to the whole team, however, because of an incident during his freshman year.

"A year before there was a locker room conversation and one of the guys on the team was having a kid. We discussed if we had a kid and they were gay, what would happen. Things were said like 'I would try and change them' or 'That's not OK.' It kind of freaked me out a little bit. I was not sure how they would respond to that kind of thing."

But his fellow players have also offered nothing but support for him once they learned he was gay; one team mate, in fact, who had expressed reservations about gay people during that discussion, says his mind was changed about gay people when he learned the truth about Jallen.

Now, Jallen Messersmith is gay, and no one really cares. His family doesn’t; his friends don’t; his teammates aren’t bothered. In fact, all anyone wants from Jallen is that he keeps playing basketball the way he’s always played it. Life is normal for Jallen, as it should be, and he even brings his dates to games.

"I would hug them and then I would get grilled by my teammates after. We would have locker room conversations and they would talk to me about guys just like they would talk about girls to each other."

It’s a normal rite of passage; you talk about your dates, you tell your friends what you did. It’s no different from a straight guy telling his story than for a gay guy to tell his; only the genders are different. And like I said, I think as long as Jallen plays basketball to the best of his ability, his being gay is, and will be, a non-issue. He’s not a gay player; he’s a player who is gay. And that way of looking at it is all the difference.

Messersmith and Benedictine had a good season this past year, going 18-12 before losing in the quarterfinals of the Heart of America Athletic Conference tournament. And, despite playing in about just half of his team's minutes, Messersmith led the team in blocked shots, more than the next three players combined. His blocks ranked him first in the conference and fourth nationally in Division I of the National Association of Intercollegiate Athletics, a collection of small colleges that has seen players like Scottie Pippen and Dennis Rodman through to the NBA.

And, while his coming out story seems relatively easy and trouble-free, Jallen is cautious about advising others deciding whether to come out.

"You've just got to be comfortable with yourself. I wasn't very comfortable with myself for a long time and then when I was, if you put off the confidence and you are 100% comfortable when you tell someone, they will support you. They can't, as much as they can try, drag you down. It's all about you. It's what you think. If you are comfortable with yourself, you can do anything. I'm definitely happy and content where I am right now. It's awesome that I have the team support I do. It's awesome that no one has said anything [negative] and I haven't had anything change. I just feel really comfortable and it's really nice."

Welcome out Jallen.

And, as we like to do, we’ll be offering you a copy of The Gay Agenda and the obligatory Coming Out Toaster Oven. Perfect for dorm rooms.

Welcome out.

via OutSports

Read More

Kevin Grayson Comes Out

“People didn’t believe it because I was an athlete. They’re like ‘Kevin plays football, he plays basketball he runs track–no way you know?’ Those are the types of things where if I could go back and say; ‘Why can’t I be an athlete? Why can’t I be a star player? Why can’t I be the guy making plays that helps my team win, and still on the flip side, be a gay male?’”—Kevin Grayson

Yes, Kevin Grayson is all that, and gay, too. He is one of the most decorated football players Central Virginia has ever seen; he was named all district and all-region while playing both offense and defense at L.C. Bird High School, and in college he helped the University of Richmond Spiders win the Football Championship Subdivision national title in 2008. While playing professionally in Italy last year he was named MVP of his league’s super bowl.

Through all that, though, he kept that fact that he was gay a secret from many of his coaches and most of his teammates, except for a few trusted ones because he didn’t think he could be openly gay and be asked to play professional football in the United States.

Like most folks, he has “no doubt” that there are gay players currently playing in the NFL, and says he even knows a few, but, he admits that it’s still considered “one of those things where you meet someone and you find out about something it’s a ‘you take it to the grave’ type thing.” So, keeping that secret, and staying in the closet, while being a successful player, Kevin heard all kinds of ant-gay slurs, even though no one suspected he was gay.

“[Sometimes] it’s  just watching film. You know, it’s like ‘Stop being a princess, stop being a faggot,’ you know– ‘Homo!’”—Kevin Grayson

And he wondered how those coaches and players might feel if he came out to them; would their epithets stop? Would they increase? But he never came out to them, though he says it wasn’t due to embarrassment or shame, but because his focus was on school and football and any distraction would have put a spotlight on the entire team.

“You don’t want to be the focus in that way. Not to say that it’s a negative, but when you have people just asking questions about your sexuality and how teammates are taking it, it takes away from the importance of the preseason. If you are an athlete, you want to be an athlete. You want to be known for what you’ve done on the basketball court, football field, tennis court, whatever. You don’t want to be that person who it’s always ‘the “gay” athlete.’”—Kevin Grayson

That’s the issue I have with both the media, and many people in general. If you come out, you are no longer insert name here, you are Gay insert name here. Kevin Grayson wouldn’t be Kevin; he’d be The Gay Football Player. Some folks think that by coming out, we are somehow “announcing” our homosexuality, when, in fact, we aren’t the ones talking about it; they keep mentioning it and labeling us as The Gay whatever.

“It’s that extra pressure that you can’t even remotely show something that would lead someone to suspect you. So it makes it ten times harder.”—Kevin Grayson

Kevin relieved some of that pressure by slowly coming out to a few teammates, and was surprised to find some of them were gay as well. He was also surprised when no one to whom he confided shunned him, or turned their back on him, or outed him to anyone else. That’s when he decided to share his story, not only to help himself in his own journey, but to inspire others still living in the closet to follow him out.

“It’s like the biggest weight lifted off your shoulder. To know that you have a teammate that basically says ‘I don’t care.’ Just because you’re gay doesn’t mean you can’t be the athlete you want to be. Doesn’t mean you can’t be a star. Doesn’t mean you can’t go out there and go just as hard as anybody else, if not harder.”—Kevin Grayson

So, Kevin Grayson, welcome out. And, naturally, we’d like to send you a copy of the Gay Agenda as well as HOMO HQ’s Coming Out Toaster Oven.

Welcome out, Kevin, welcome out.

source

Read More

Jason Collins Comes Out: He's America's First Openly Gay, and Still Playing, Professional Athlete

Well, we all thought it was going to be a football player, but NBA star, and free agent, Jason Collins has come out as America’s first openly gay and still-playing male professional sports athlete.

Jason Collins:

I'm a 34-year-old NBA center. I'm black. And I'm gay.

I didn't set out to be the first openly gay athlete playing in a major American team sport. But since I am, I'm happy to start the conversation. I wish I wasn't the kid in the classroom raising his hand and saying, "I'm different." If I had my way, someone else would have already done this. Nobody has, which is why I'm raising my hand.

My journey of self-discovery and self-acknowledgement began in my hometown of Los Angeles and has taken me through two state high school championships, the NCAA Final Four and the Elite Eight, and nine playoffs in 12 NBA seasons. I’ve played for six pro teams and have appeared in two NBA Finals. Ever heard of a parlor game called Three Degrees of Jason Collins? If you're in the league, and I haven't been your teammate, I surely have been one of your teammates' teammates. Or one of your teammates' teammates' teammates.

Now I'm a free agent, literally and figuratively. I've reached that enviable state in life in which I can do pretty much what I want. And what I want is to continue to play basketball. I still love the game, and I still have something to offer. My coaches and teammates recognize that. At the same time, I want to be genuine and authentic and truthful.

Welcome out Jason, and congratulations on being the first. You’re going to blaze a trail for other gay athletes to follow, and you’ve done so with eloquence and a positive outlook.

Naturally, as we like to do here at HOMO HQ, we’ll be sending you a copy of The Gay Agenda, and the obligatory Coming Out Toaster Oven.

Welcome out, Jason, welcome out!

via Sports Illustrated

Read More

If He Has His Way, Alan Gendreau Will Be The NFL's First Openly Gay Player

With all the former, and current, NFL players saying that they’d be fine with an openly gay teammate, you know that it’s going to happen, sooner rather than later. But, what if, instead of a current player coming out, a future player, who’s already out, goes into the NFL?

Well, that could happen if Alan Gendreau, a former kicker, and leading scorer in Sun Belt Conference history, for Middle Tennessee State, gets his way; he wants a shot at an NFL team and he’s already out. But, as I’ve said time and again, because he’s gay isn’t why he wants to join the NFL; he doesn’t want to be the first gay player, he just wants to play.

“I’m a kicker that happens to be gay. It’s a part of who I am, and not everything I am. I just want to be known as a normal kicker.”

Gendreau has been openly gay since high school and says he never hid his sexual orientation at Middle Tennessee State. In fact, as a freshman, he told his story to Outsports, though, to be fair, he did so anonymously, concerned about the effect the disclosure would have on his family and afraid that it might have hurt his NFL chances.

“My whole thing in this is just to help anybody who is struggling with coming out. I want people to know that I didn’t have a problem with it, and they shouldn’t, either.”

In his first two years on his college team, Gendreau made 28 of 34 field-goal attempts, the longest from 55 yards. As a sophomore, he was one of 20 semifinalists for the Lou Groza Award, given to college football’s top kicker. But then, as a senior, he missed four of his first five kicks for a team that went 2-10 and interest in his abilities kind of vanished.

“I took that as my sign to hang it up.”

After college, Gendreau moved to Washington and began working in real estate, though when he coached at a football camp last summer, other coaches started encouraging him to pursue a career in the NFL. He decided that he might be ready for the NFL and the NFL might be ready for him.

“If that were to happen, I’d love to be that role model to anybody struggling. I know that’s a lot of pressure, but that’s the life of a kicker.”

Let’s hope he gets that wish, and gets to be that role model, and gets to be that player. It is, after all, about time.

source

Read More

Mark Knudson Wouldn't Know Discrimination If It Hit Him In The Head With A Baseball

As more and more folks come out as LGBT, we’re still waiting for that big gay shoe to drop in professional sports. And while we have some LGBT allies in the professional sports arena—Brendan Ayanbadejo, Chris Kluwe and Scott Fujita come to mind right off the bat—there are some who don’t like the idea of an openly gay teammate, on the field, or in the locker room.

One such person is Mark Knudson, a former Major League Baseball player for the Houston Astros, the Milwaukee Brewers and the Colorado Rockies, His career ended almost twenty years ago, but he’s decided to pen an op-ed piece about The Gays and Professional Sports. He doesn’t seem like he’s particularly anti-gay, I guess, but he doesn’t want The Gays in sports because, you know, that would make homophobes uncomfortable.

And, well, he says that isn't discrimination. Seriously, he believes telling gay folks that since their orientation may make some folks uncomfortable, we should just stay in the closet. Makes one think Knudson may have been hit in the head with a baseball a time or two, no?

At any rate, in his piece--written for Mile High Sports [read the entire piece HERE] he talks Manti Te'o, who may, or may not, be gay, and he talks Esera Tuaolo, a professional football player who came out publicly after restring and told about the difficulties of being gay in professional sports. But he still sees no discrimination, so let's review a bit of Knudson, in his own words:

No one has said that gays should not be allowed to play in the NFL. What has been said is that having a gay teammate would make some players uncomfortable. That's about their feelings. Feelings aren't right or wrong; they're just feelings. It’s telling someone their feelings are wrong that’s the real wrong.

So what's being debated here is not actual discrimination, but rather hurt feelings. Just because [retired out football player Esera Tuaolo] felt uncomfortable about his homosexuality inside a machismo-filled, heterosexual-dominated locker room does not mean he was denied any opportunities. In fact, he endured emotionally and has profited handsomely by taking full advantage of his talents and opportunities.

It's also important to consider that the heterosexual players involved have feelings, too, and they’re no more or less valid than the feelings of those in the gay community. It's amazing how many people feel free to criticize and tell athletes how they are supposed to feel, as if that’s anyone else's right.

Wow.

I mean what if I was a white man living in 1960s Alabama and I felt uncomfortable having a Black man sit beside me on the bus? Does that give me the right to ask that all Black people sit at the back?

What is seeing an obese person chowing down in a restaurant bothers me? Can I ask management to remove them so I no longer feel that discomfort?

It seems to me that Mark Knudson thinks that if something, or someone, or something about someone, makes you uncomfortable, well, they should just hide that fact, if they can, or get out of the way.

But that's not discrimination, not in Mark Knudson's playbook.

Read More

Robbie Rogers Comes Out

Robbie Rogers, professional soccer player, in a post on his blog, Robbie H. Rogers:

The Next Chapter…

Things are never what they seem… My whole life I have felt different, different from my peers, even different from my family. In today’s society being different makes you brave.  To overcome your fears you must be strong and have faith in your purpose.

For the past 25 year I have been afraid, afraid to show whom I really was because of fear. Fear that judgment and rejection would hold me back from my dreams and aspirations.   Fear that my loved ones would be farthest from me if they knew my secret.  Fear that my secret would get in the way of my dreams. 

Dreams of going to a World Cup, dreams of The Olympics, dreams of making my family proud.  What would life be without these dreams? Could I live a life without them?

Life is only complete when your loved ones know you.  When they know your true feelings, when they know who and how you love. Life is simple when your secret is gone.  Gone is the pain that lurks in the stomach at work, the pain from avoiding questions, and at last the pain from hiding such a deep secret. 

Secrets can cause so much internal damage. People love to preach about honesty, how honesty is so plain and simple.   Try explaining to your loved ones after 25 years you are gay. Try convincing yourself that your creator has the most wonderful purpose for you even though you were taught differently. 

I always thought I could hide this secret. Football was my escape, my purpose, my identity. Football hid my secret, gave me more joy than I could have ever imagined… I will always be thankful for my career. I will remember Beijing, The MLS Cup, and most of all my teammates.  I will never forget the friends I have made a long the way and the friends that supported me once they knew my secret.  

Now is my time to step away. It’s time to discover myself away from football.  It’s 1 A.M. in London as I write this and I could not be happier with my decision. Life is so full of amazing things. I realized I could only truly enjoy my life once I was honest.  Honesty is a bitch but makes life so simple and clear.  My secret is gone, I am a free man, I can move on and live my life as my creator intended.  

Welcome Out Robbie, as, by doing so, you will receive our Coming Out Toaster Oven as well as a copy of The Gay Agenda.
Have an English Muffin and read about the future of The Gays.
Welcome out.

Read More

Kenneth Faried Is The First NBA Player To Join LGBT Rights Group

Kenneth Faried, of the Denver Nuggets, is the first NBA player to join Athlete Ally, which is devoted to fighting homophobia in sports, and perhaps paving way for the first professional basketball, football, baseball star to publicly come out.

So, is it Faried, nicknamed ‘Manimal,’ who is coming out? No; he’s joined the group because he has two moms. In fact, Faried recently appeared with his mothers in a video for the advocacy group OneColorado, to encourage Colorado to legalize civil unions.

"Becoming an Athlete Ally gives me the opportunity to spread a message of inclusiveness throughout the NBA and our country. I have two moms and I love them both very much. I respect, honor and support them in every way. The bond I have with them has made me realize that I want all members of the LGBT community—whether they are parents, players, coaches or fans—to feel welcome in the NBA and in all of our communities."—Kenneth  Faried

Kenneth joins an ever-growing list of professional athletes as members of Athlete Ally: Brendon Ayanbadejo of the Baltimore Ravens, Chris Kluwe of the Minnesota Vikings, Scott Fujita of the Cleveland Browns, and Connor Barwin of the Houston Texans.

"In the last month, we have seen seven professional athletes around the world align with Athlete Ally. Kenneth is standing out not only as an incredible talent, but as an incredible ally. We are thrilled to have him on board and grateful to the NBA for its continued leadership."—Hudson Taylor, executive director of Athlete Ally.

Thanks for coming out, so to speak, Kenneth. We need all the allied we can get as we move forward toward equality.

Also—and I never thought I’d say this—but ‘Thank you’ to Kobe Bryant, LA Lakers star, who admonished a fan who Tweeted, "You're gay" as an insult to another fan:

"Just letting you know @PacSmoove @pookeo9 that using 'your gay' as a way to put someone down ain't ok! #notcool delete that out ur vocab."—Kobe Bryant.

Bryant, as you might recall, was fined $100,000 last April for using a gay slur during a game, so this is a huge step. Now, if we could get Kobe onboard with Athlete Ally ….?

via The Huffington Post

Read More

Sean Karson Comes Out

Sean Karson had it all going for him; a junior at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology [MIT] he is also the school's starting third baseman. And he's good; he had a .350 batting average as a sophomore, including a seven-game hitting streak during which he hit .540, and he's the co-captain on this year’s team. He’s also founded a technology start-up called Sponge Systems, while he's been working toward his chemistry degree and attending tech conferences.

He's also been trying to figure out how to do all of that and be himself, as a gay man.

Last week, during practice at MIT, Karson asked his coach, Andy Barlow, if he could say a few words to his teammates. Barlow thought Sean, who had just returned from a conference in California, was going to talk about his company.”

Instead, Karson took a deep breath, and told his coaches and teammates that he’s gay.

“They came up and gave me high fives and said they’d have my back and everything. It was so supportive, it was ridiculous.”

Which is how it should be, because it doesn't matter; he isn't a gay third basemen, or a gay chemistry major, or a gay entrepreneur. He's a man who happens to be gay, and also all of those other things.

“I barely held it together. I was probably not the most coherent person when I was giving that speech, but that was the third time I cried in the past week. And this is the fourth, I guess.”

His crying, something he says he rarely does, was brought on by the fact that Sean Karson realized that he had never been himself, until he decided he would come out. 

“Everything’s been just sort of cold and calculated. I’ve been in this fortress, I guess, and haven’t let my emotions out at all. I worried that I had no emotions, that I didn’t feel much about anything. It was really weird.”

It took Sean a long time to decide to come out, but he's amazed at the ease of it all; only a couple of teammates held back after his announcement, but both sent emails later in the day saying they just wanted to 'process' it.

One day soon, I'm hoping, and I'm sure Sean is hoping, that no one will need to 'process' a coming out, because it will just be ....

And Sean thinks that one day soon, a professional athlete, on a team sport, will come out.

“I think it’s going to happen in the next month. Nobody’s going to throw at you if you’re the gay person on the team. I feel great. I’m not scared.”

The only difference, moving forward, is Karson will play third base at MIT as an openly gay college athlete.

“I can’t wait to see what (the future) brings, actually. But sports are never going to be a scary place for LGBT people again. The locker room is going to be a safe space everywhere.”

Welcome out Sean, and please accept, as our gift, the obligatory Coming Out Toaster Oven and your very own copy of The Gay Agenda.

Welcome out.

Note to self: we're gonna need more toaster ovens.

source

Read More

Chris Bush Comes Out

In his own words, from Athlete Ally:

"That's alright mate!"

Coming from my best friend, this was the most unexpected answer. Coming out was not meant to be this easy. When you wait 21 years before you tell the first person in the world the truth about who you are you expect your world to end.

The reality is that this was the response that all of my friends had upon hearing about my sexuality. No one seemed to mind. Which of course made me feel fantastic, but also made me wonder why on earth such homophobia had existed among my friends, classmates and crew members in the years before.

Why is it that we as young men grow up learning to hate and ostracize same-sex attracted individuals? When in actual fact the overwhelming majority of people have no problem with homosexuality at a personal level. Discovering this I wished I had come out years before. I wonder now, knowing how much more relaxed I am, how happy I am with my boyfriend, how less stressed I am from not living a lie and covering my tracks, if I would have performed better at the highest level?

Don't get me wrong, I did well enough; I rowed and won in state level teams, pulled 5:59 for 2km on the ergo, trialed and narrowly missed out for the Australian national team and rowed overseas in The Netherlands and the UK before deciding that I had rowed enough. Or was it that I was sick of living a lie and the only way to confront the truth was to do so when I was out of the boat? If only I had my time again.

I was so worried about whether anyone would want to row with a gay guy. Can gay guys row as hard as straight guys? We are brought up to believe that gay people are weaker, more effeminate. What rubbish. But until we know someone gay who is close to us perhaps we don't learn to challenge such thinking.

The locker room was always a place for debriefing from the night before, or the session just rowed. It was full of homophobic slurs that used to grind at me every time; I'd keep my head down and stay quiet. Interestingly after I came out, a number of friends came up to me and apologized for the things they used to say – they were mortified to realize that the things they said without thought could have hurt someone so much.

I would love to have my time again, to be brave enough to come out earlier, to trust that my friends would stick by me, to not worry that I would be left to row alone. So now with my time past, I want to make things better for the young people going for their first row, run, ride or practice session. I want to be part of making the world a place where young people learn to stop using such homophobic language and instead say to each other "it wouldn’t matter to me if you were gay." Chances are that the friend or teammate they say it to brushes it off. But then there will be the young guy, fresh out of high school, who’ll smile to himself, perhaps stay silent till he’s ready, but will now know, deep down, that it doesn’t matter who he loves, there will still be a place for him in that sport, in that team.

That would be alright.

Welcome out, Chris, no matter how long it took.

Coming out is the important thing.

Not to mention the obligatory Coming Out Toaster Oven from Homo HQ and your very own copy of The Gay Agenda.

Welcome out.

Read More