Another One: AJ Betts

AJ Betts killed himself; he was just sixteen.

His mother, Sheryl Moore, is hoping his story will put an end to the bullying that she said ended his life.

"It must have been really horrible, if my son got to the point where he would hurt my husband, my daughters and I to take his own life."

Moore said she will never know exactly how horrible the bullying was.

"We had no indication that anything was wrong. He is the happiest kid I've ever met. Everybody who meets him says that."

Like most bullied teens, AJ put on a brave face, a tough exterior, and learned to smile to hide the pain. But now his family is learning that AJ, after being outed at Southeast Polk High School last year, was a target because he was gay. His friends said AJ was constantly ridiculed not only for being gay, but also because he was half African-American and born with a cleft lip.

"He's different. He doesn’t add up to what they're used to."—Noah Lahmann, AJ’s best friend

Different. Made for being taunted and teased to the point of taking his own life just to make it stop.

The only word from authorities at Southeast Polk High is that they can’t say if AJ ever reported being bullied.

Maybe he didn’t report his bullies because he thought officials wouldn't do anything about it. See, AJ Betts wasn’t the first; he was the fifth student from Southeast Polk High school to commit suicide in the past five years. 

So maybe, when the numbers start piling up and more teenagers take their own lives, maybe then the good people at Southeast Polk High will try harder to find out why. Until then, I guess high school students are disposable.

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Meet The 'Cutest Couple': Brad Taylor And Dylan Meehan

My how times have changed since I was in high school.

Every year, most high school yearbooks award certain honors to the graduating class—like Funniest, and Most Athletic—and those Seniors get their pictures in the yearbook. One of the categories when I was in school—No, it wasn’t ‘Most Closeted’ and No, I didn’t win for it anyway—is Cutest Couple and, well, now Carmel High School in Putnam County, New York has the Cutest Couple I think I have ever seen: Dylan Meehan and Brad Taylor.

The idea to enter the popular, and obviously openly gay, couple into the category came from their friend Chelsea Blaney, who was none too pleased that in years past the award only went to straight couples. She approached the principal, Kevin Carroll, about allowing the boys to be entered into the running.

"Kids aren't hiding anymore. They feel free, and they feel safe in the school -- that's the way it is."—Kevin Carroll

Once the votes were counted, and Dylan and Brad were declared Cutest, Blaney posted a photo of the couple on her Tumblr:

“Two of my best friends won Cutest Couple of our senior class. First time in my school history a same sex couple has even been able to run for this category, not to mention winning it. So proud of them, and my school.”

Naturally, the picture went viral, and generated some 110,891 comments in just four days as more and more people around the world saw that these two young men could be, and should be, and are, the Cutest Couple.

“This whole thing has been a bit surreal for us because we have been raised to believe that love is love. We never realized that our happiness and openness would inspire so many individuals. The support we have received from our family, friends, and even strangers has led us to believe that our affection for each other is normal. When we started dating a year ago, the thought of a photo of us traveling throughout the world would be a bit frightening, but now we are proud to be part of the LGBT community."—Dylan Meehan and Brad Taylor

And the LGBT community, past and present, and future, is proud to have you.

The notion that Meehan and Taylor could be voted Cutest Couple thrills me no end, because I remember seeing gay couples—deeply closeted gay couples—when I was in high school, and though many students ‘knew’ that these people were couples, they weren’t acknowledged; they didn’t hold hands in the halls, they never danced together at prom, but they were a couple.

And now, those couples might be able to relive their high school days through Dylan and Brad, and the young gay kids coming up might picture themselves on the pages of their yearbooks, too. Cute. It’s really cute, and about time.

Oh, and by the way, Dylan and Brad—who both have 4.0 GPAs…cute and smart—are headed to NYU in the fall, to the Gallatin School of Individualized Study, where they expect to study theater, business and the sciences.

Congratulations Dylan and Brad.

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UPDATE: Kaitlyn Hunt Won't Take A Plea

Last week I posted about Kaitlyn Hunt, the Florida high school senior who was arrested and then expelled from school for being in a lesbian relationship with a high school freshman. Kaitlyn Hunt was charged with two felony counts of lewd and lascivious battery on a child and could face up to fifteen years in jail and be labeled a sexual predator for life. [see post HERE]

Now, I got a couple of comments that this wasn’t about Kaitlyn being gay, even though the other girl’s parents were completely against the relationship. And, of course, they waited until about a minute after Kaitlyn turned eighteen to file charges against her. I cannot help but think that if Kaitlyn Hunt had been an eighteen-year-old boy, and star basketball player, those parents would have reacted differently.

But I digress. This isn’t about the parents of the other girl, or straight relationships versus gay relationships, it's about ruining a young girl’s life because she fell in love with one of her teammates on the basketball team.

Kaitlyn Hunt was offered a plea deal in the case, in which she would face two years of house arrest and a year of probation, and her ‘crime’ would stay on her permanent adult record. Kaitlyn Hunt said, ‘No.’

Julia Graves, the attorney for the Hunt family:

"Our client is a courageous teenager who is choosing not to accept the current plea offer by the state of Florida. It’s a situation of two teenagers who happen to be of the same sex involved in a relationship. If this case involved a boy and a girl, we don't believe there'd be the media attention to this case. Our client's a model citizen. She's been placed in an environment of school with her classmates where they go to school together, they have lunch together, and play on the same team (and are) allowed to have communication and contact without barriers. Then when something develops between the two of them as a result of this environment which is created by the state, it leads to criminal prosecution."

Charles Sullivan, who's representing the as-yet-unnamed family of the other teen, says his clients won’t comment yet, and he said he believed the plea deal was a reasonable one and was surprised Hunt didn't take it.

Reasonable for a high school, student who fell in love with another student to accept being labeled a predator for life?

As I said, had this been a straight relationship, I doubt it would be national news. I doubt the other girl’s parents would have filed charges. I doubt the boy would face being labeled a pedophile.

You can say this case has nothing to do with the other girl’s parents’ homophobia, but it reeks of discrimination and bigotry and hate, to me. Now, to be clear, if Kaitlyn Hunt wasn’t a high school student when she began her relationship with the girl, then, yes, she should be punished. But the fact is that, like any number of us, gay and straight, these two girls became friends, fell in love, and started a relationship while they were both high school students and one should not be punished for that.

I hope Kaitlyn sticks to her guns and fights this all the way to the end. She was a high school girl who fell in love with another student and anyone who thinks that makes her a predator or a pedophile just isn’t thinking clearly. 

Head on over to Free Kate, read her story, and add your name to Kate's 296,450 supporters.

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Let Damian Garcia Graduate As A Male

Damian Garcia was born Brandi Garcia, but he identifies as male; last year he legally changed his name to Damian. All his friends call him Damian; his teachers, too. He is, to everyone who knows him, a young man just about to graduate from Saint Pius High School, a Catholic school.

At Saint Pius, graduating girls wear white gowns while the boys wear black gowns, and now the school says that Damian will be forced to wear white because Saint Pius insists that Damian Garcia is a girl.

“I just want to walk in my black robe, nice and proud and have that memory to look back on with my family and friends. I would rather not walk than to embarrass myself by wearing a female robe.”—Damian Garcia

I understand that people have trouble understanding gender identity, but seriously, even if they choose to believe that Damian Garcia is a female, who does it harm to let him wear a black gown? As I said, everyone in his life, family, friends, teachers, classmates, school officials, call him Damian.

“I look at him and I call him my son. That's how he wishes to be acknowledged is as a male.”—Luis Garcia

The Saint Pius Superintendent says the school goes by the gender listed on the birth certificate if there’s any question on what gender-color the student should wear at graduation, and, of course, Damian’s birth certificate says ‘female’. But again, this makes me wonder, who gets hurt by allowing Damian to wear a black gown? Where is the harm in that? If Damian Garcia chooses to fully transition to male, wouldn't it be nice if his high school graduation pictures reflected his true gender?

“All you want in life is to see your kids happy and healthy. You never want to see them suffer or being ridiculed or be made fun of.”—Luis Garcia

The Garcia family knows there is little chance that the school will change its policy before graduation, but hope their stance, and that of Damian, might make St Pius change their minds about future graduates. Damian says he’s prepared to skip graduation, though he is amazed by the support given to him.

Among those to step forward in support of Damian, is openly gay actor, and star of Modern Family, Jesse Tyler Ferguson, himself a graduate of St. Pius. In addition, a local mother has launched a petition at MoveOn defending Damian and asking that the school let him, him, wear the black graduation robes.

Like I said,when everyone at the school, at graduation, in his class, in his family, knows that Damian Garcia is male, what difference does it make to force him to wear a female robe?

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MoveOn Petition

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Kaitlyn Hunt Was Arrested, Expelled From School, For Being In A Lesbian Relationship

Kaitlyn Hunt was one of those all-American high school girls. She was blond, and a cheerleader; she played on the basketball team. She’s gay.

Oops.

Not so fast. Not really so ‘all-American’ now, is she? At least not in Florida.

Kaitlyn Hunt started dating a girl she met on the basketball team and, according to her father, Steven everything changed. Kaitlyn was dropped from the team because the coach didn’t want the “drama” of a lesbian relationship.

Then it gets worse because, at the time, Hunt was seventeen and her girlfriend just fifteen. Kaitlyn’s girlfriend’s parents were not about to have a lesbian daughter, and the moment Kaitlyn Hunt turned eighteen, those parents had her arrested. Kaitlyn Hunt was charged with two felony counts of lewd and lascivious battery on a child. And then she was expelled from school, just weeks before her graduation.

"[The girlfriend's parents] are out to destroy my daughter, because they feel like she ‘made’ their daughter gay. They see being gay as wrong and they blame my daughter. Of course, I see it 100% differently. I don’t see or label these girls as gay. They are teenagers in high school experimenting with their sexuality – with mutual consent. And even if their daughter is gay, who cares? She is still their daughter.”—Kelley Hunt Smith, Kaitlyn’s mother

The attorney general offered Kaitlyn a plea deal: two years of house arrest and a year of probation, though the ‘crime’ would stay on her permanent adult record.

Crime. Being a Lesbian in high school and falling in love with a younger girl. Kaitlyn’s parents are asking people to sign a Change.org petition urging authorities to drop or lessen the charges.

You know, of being gay.

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Change.org Petition

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