No rest for the weary; or the bitchy [Layana]. This week’s episode begins right after Richard was Auf’d as Tim and Heidi dragged the designtestants back to the runway to give them all the good news that the teams are over! Huzzah, as Michelle might say. But, Heidi reminds them that it’s still "Project Runway: Teams” and that they will be getting helpers for the next challenge so they can practice what they’ve learned about communication and r5unning the show. Who knew it was so educational?
Then, after an hours sleep or so, Tim takes the designtestants to the Hearst Building—one of the coolest buildings ever—where they meet this week’s client: Nina Effing Garcia!
Good luck, and don’t f**k it up. Nina explains the task at hand: create a fashion-forward editorial look that will be worn by TV-star-I’ve-never-heard-of Jordana Brewster in a fashion story in the May 2013 issue of Marie Claire. Nina then gives strict instructions:
- No red carpet looks
- No gowns
- No t-shirt and pants
- Needs to be editorial
- Bold in color
- Bold in shape
- Bold in print
- Bold in silhouette
- Do no disappoint Nina
- Do not embarrass Nina
Then they sketch, then it’s off to Mood, then its back to the workroom where Tim introduces them to their sweatshop workers, er, sewing assistants: the last five eliminated designers Amanda, Kate, Richard, Samantha and Tu. The Adorable Stanley Hudson™, who won the last week, gets first pick and goes for Tu. After that it’s The Dreaded Button Bag and the remaining designers all praying and hoping and casting incantations that they don’t get Richard. Michelle picks Amanda, Daniel is with Samantha, Layana gets Kate and Patricia, after last week’s Richard Fueled Debacle, gets Richard.
It’s on …. Let’s rip ….
STANLEY
Stanley heard one rule: don’t piss off Nina, and he ran with that. He wanted something flattering for guest judge and Marie Claire model, Jordana Brewster, and he made three pieces so they could be worked by the photographer on the set. It was culottes and leather and a print.
In the workroom Stanley makes it clear to Tu that he wants it perfect—even Tu makes note that Stanley does everything perfect. But, for some reason Stanley gets the Whipping Poor Tu edit; I didn’t see it. I saw him explain exactly what he wanted done and how to do it, and I saw Tu make a mistake and Stanley get annoyed. I didn’t see the yelling that every other designer said Stanley did; so, I’ll pass that off to jealousy over the fact that Stanley’s going to The Tents and they all know it.
And Stanley’s perfectionism was what helped him win this week, His look is, well, it is kind of dated as it walks the runway, and I kinda wish he’d gone with a more colorful leather—perhaps using the color green Michelle used for her pants—but when the jacket comes off and you can see that exaggerated pockets and the nipped in waist and the cool print, it’s very fashion forward and bold.
Heidi thought it was fresh and elegant and expensive, while The Adorable Zac Posen™ loved that the leather was soft yet structured; he also loved the look without the jacket, and with the model playing with the oversized pockets. Jordana Brewster also loved the pockets and the culottes’ length.
Nina thought he was smart doing three pieces because it gives the stylist options for a photo shoot. She loved the culottes, the playing with volume; it was very editorial and would make a fabulous picture. Nina was not disappointed!
Stanley gets the win.
LAYANA
I am growing weary of that freaky smile she always wears, and how it turns down ever so slightly when she feels she isn’t getting the proper praise. Just sayin’.
Layana says she was inspired by the geometry of the Hearst Building and begins cutting squares out of cobalt blue—Seriously? Cobalt blue was over in 1989!—and hooking them together with pieces of chain. I find it looks like something g Patricia would do and something Layana would laugh at Patricia for doing, but I digress because I don’t like Layana.
And I didn’t like her outfit. The bottom row of blue triangles seemed to bunch up as the model walked, and the skirt, when the model stood still, seemed uneven to me. Plus, the whole wispy organza skirt and cobalt—cobalt!—armor business didn’t seem to work. It was hard and too soft.
The Adorable Zac Posen™ loved the architectural-ness of the top, and the shape of the neckline, but wasn’t too keen on her aesthetic—causing Layana’s pasted-on grin to turn grimace—which he said was reminiscent of Paco Rabanne. Jordana loved the shape and the color—Seriously?—while Nina loved that Layana was inspired by the Hearst Building, and called the look sexy and bold. Heidi said it would photograph well, but ….
It won’t because it’s safe, and this week safe means out, in a way.
DANIEL
It’s all about the shoulder, again, to Daniel; I’m wondering if he realizes women have other things besides shoulders that they might want to accent? And then, because Nina said Spring—although what she said was May—Daniel steps out of his comfort zone and goes Big Bird Yellow, if Big Bird had molted already. And then he decides to do the jacket—like he does every week—with the shorts he wanted to make a few weeks back, so he’s really doing nothing new, he’s doing what he’s always, and already, done.
But, it’s yellow and has the Daniel Shoulder™.
And it’s a costume; the judges saw everything from Bunny Ears to Star Trek and nearly guffawed when Daniel showed them how they could change the shape of the shoulders juts by twisting and turning them. I changed the shape entirely by closing my eyes.
Heidi said it was kind of Victoria’s Secret Angel Wings and, therefore, too gimmicky, while The Adorable Zac Posen™ wasn’t a fan of the hook-and-eye closure—which you could see—and the open triangle of flesh above the shorts; he would have liked a skirt to detract from the winginess. Jordana loved the color and the back of the jacket—causing The Adorable Zac Posen™ to say she could wear it backwards—but also wished it was a skirt and not shorts. Nina, well, she liked the edge, and editorial quality, and the use of color, but thought it looked more Easter than May, and looked even more FTD florist.
Daniel is also safe.
Now, side note: I don’t like Layana, but I have to give it to her for the look she gave this concoction when it hit the catwalk. A turn of the head, to shield her eyes, and an ‘Oh…….Em……..Gee.’
PATRICIA
Poor Patricia, stuck with Richard. The only thing more heartbreaking than watching her try to get him to do something is the realization that Richard who made it all the way through until last week, doesn’t know how to sew! French seam? What’s that? He keeps telling us how she’s using all these technical words and he wishes she’d just tell him what to do. Technical words like sew and fold and cut and pattern.
How.Did.He.Get.On.This.Show?
Patricia sank so low, she couldn’t pull herself out. I kept waiting for her to blow up and Auf Richard again. I think, had she been able to work on her own, without Walnut Head and his incompetence, she might have made something better. In the end, it was with the help of Samantha, that she finished her dress.
I kind of liked the idea of it; I liked the Native American leather pieces that hung down, but had to agree with The Adorable Zac Posen™ and Jordana who thought it looked unfinished. Nina, while she loved that Patricia has this art sensibility, and always gives them a bit of a surprise, doesn't like the shape; she said it wasn’t editorial enough or body conscious enough. Heidi says she can’t tell if she loves it or hates it, calling it "borderline Pocahontas", but says the right jewelry and belts might save it. The Adorable Zac Posen™ liked the leather detail but wish it had as much movement as Patricia suggested it did.
In a bit of a surprise, even to Patricia, she’s In, which means ….
MICHELLE
I like Michelle. But, girl, you need to listen: "Do not show me a t-shirt and pants."
But Michelle got a look in her head—a look she said she’d wear—and that was that. Now, to be fair, it was cool and chic, but it was a t-shirt and pants, no matter how Michelle tried to play it off as a ‘take’ on a muscle shirt. I don’t think she figured she’d do whatever she wanted, I figured she thought she could do something really cool and Nina would forgive.
Yeah, that would happen.
But she loves it and high-fives Amanda at every stitch, and declares it fantastic, until … runway.
It was chic. It was modern. It was not editorial. It was not good for a photo, as Heidi pointed out, because if they cropped away the bottom, all you have left is a white T.
Heidi praised Michelle for her ability to craft beautiful clothes, but said it wasn’t editorial enough. Nina agreed, calling it not strong, and then says, “I remember pointedly telling you no t-shirt and pants’ at which point Michelle goes all Jetson’s dog, Astro, ‘Ruh Roh.’ Jordana said it was good for day-to-day wear but not for a photo shoot, while The Adorable Zac Posen™ called it clothing you want to wear not clothing you want to see a magazine.
Michelle went Bottom Two and got the Aufing. Or did she? As we leave the show, Heidi tells Michelle she has a ‘Do or Die’ Second Chance, but we’ll have to wait till next week to find out what that is ….. Stay tuned.
MY TAKE
I loved the looks on the faces of Daniel, Stanley and Layana when Patricia comes back and says she In. All that fake smiling came in handy for Layana.
But, I knew in an instant that Michelle wouldn’t be out because you know they want her at The Tents. So, I knew she’d be in, the only surprise was, and will be, the Last Chance Kitchen; wait, that’s a different show!
I was glad to see The Adorable Zac Posen™ back for purely prurient reasons.
I’m seeing The Tents with Stanley and Michelle—if she pulls this off—and, ugh, Layana.
Next week the designtestants each go to a different European city and I’m jealous ……
What did YOU think?
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