You can tell we’re getting near the end because the designtestants are tried and cranky and more than a little bit sullen. When Heidi Klum greets them from the runway, she asks, "Why are you not smiling?" Um, because they don’t like their teams, they’re tired. Daniel’s mustache; Layana’s accent; Richard. All good reasons to be in a mood.
But, Heidi begs them to soldier on and then sends them off to meet Tim Gunn at the Guggenheim Museum where he gives them the news teams—Stanley and Michelle, Chic and Quirky; Daniel and Layana, Old School and New School; Richard and Patrica, Hack and Artist. Then comes the challenge: create a piece of wearable “over the top, grand, big” art along with a companion, ready-to-wear, piece. Plus, they’ll be able to create their own textile to use in their designs, and they get a bonus: the winning designer gets $10,000 and a new HP Envy X2. Then Tim lets them loose in the Guggenheim to study the art and become inspired. This bodes well for everyone but Richard ….
Back in the workroom to create their textiles, Tim also offers up some unique choices for their creations: bubble wrap, chicken wire, crayons [at least I think I saw crayons] Popsicle sticks and, of course, glue guns galore! Plus, they get a trip to Mood to get supplementals.
Let’s rip ….
STANLEY and MICHELLE
These two make a great pair because their each have their very own clear aesthetic, but they also know how to, um, listen, and play off one another.
Michelle—who takes over at the computer to create the textile, while Stanley [is he not a computer geek?] takes a back seat—creates a dark, eerie woman’s face, and then tilts it in every degree. I’m getting sick, seriously, because I think it’s too literal and too much.
I.Was.Wrong. When the fabric arrives, it’s very cool; you can easily read that it’s a face, but it’s not so crazy-wack-a-doo.
Michelle decides to create an artsy-fartsy overcoat, and then handpaint the six-foot train. Stanley sees her wack-a-doo and raises her a bubble-wrap, but using the plastic to make a very voluminous dress for under the coat.
Michelle creates a corkscrew head-piece for the art look, which works fine, but when she designs a little top hat with Crazy Woman Faces coming out of it, Stanley wisely nips that in the bud; Michelle ends up wearing the hat herself on the runway.
Stanley takes Michelle’s textile and makes a very chic, very full dress. While I couldn’t see it as ready-to-wear—it looked giant—it moved well and the fabric looked amazing. Almost as amazing as Stanley’s ass in the yellow green; I had to mention that.
It was obvious when those two looks came down the runway that this team would win. While Michelle brought the quirky, Stanley brought the chic, and the two pieces—as Stanley said—looked like part of the same show.
Michelle's art coat was so edgy and cool and modern, while Stanley’s dark lady screaming baby doll dress was lovely.
Guest judge, designer Tracy Reese, loved that the two looks seemed compatible, while Heidi loved Michelle’s print, and the dark colors. Rachel Roy—subbing for The Adorable Zac Posen™ again…damn—called the fabric quirky and crazy; she loved the print, and loved Stanley’s dress. Nina also loved Stanley’s dress, in Michelle’s print, but wondered if the Baby Doll Crazy Lady might not be so commercial. Heidi loved that Stanley went bubble-wrap, and loved that Michelle created art by painting the back of the coat. But, in the end, Stanley gets the win, for bubble-wrap and baby doll. I thought it might go to Michelle, and would have been just as happy, but I liked Stanley’s exuberance at winning.
Plus, without The Adorable Zac Posen™ I needed a little cute.
DANIEL and LAYANA
This was rough because, well, Layana’s a bitch who thinks that because she’s the youngest designer, fresh from design school, that she’s the best thing ever. She instantly tells us that she’ll be in charge and running the show this week. And, I imagine, that had Daniel not been so ready to be dominated, she might have had her meltdown earlier. Layana is that girl who, if she doesn’t get her way—by batting her eyelashes and smiling—she gets angry and the weepy.
She controls everything: "I’m going to make sure [Daniel] makes something sexy..."
Now, tis true that Daniel needs to stop with the matronly dresses, he doesn’t need this pipsqueak to act like she knows everything. Especially when she opts to make a dress that looks exactly like the Guggenheim's circling ramps; oh, how literal. I get it! Art!
She also creates the textile—which I loathed—and then, I’m guessing, because she created it, thinks she gets to use it all. Daniel literally had to grab a pair of scissors and hold the fabric hostage before she gave him a yard and he gave her a finger.
Layana then trashes her Guggen-horror dress because, well, it’s ugly, and tries something new. When Tim comes by, he calls her look flat and uninspired, and she cries. And cries. And cries. And tells us how much she needs the money. Honey, we could all use 10K so your waterworks don’t work.
But Tim’s critique does because Layana comes back inspired and begins hot-gluing netting and rosettes and more netting and bows and, well, anything that wasn’t nailed down—seriously, I think I saw Richard’s bracelet on the dress…more on that later—all over the dress. Daniel, in the meantime, works best by himself, and does another jacket with the Daniel Shoulder™ that he does every week, though I will say that this version is less 1980 and more 2013.
His look was sleek and sexy and modern, while Layana’s final piece was Trashy Victorian, or Turn Of The Last Century Whore. Heidi loved Daniel’s look—she gave it the new buzz phrase: “I would wear that!”—and said it was a killer jacket. Nina loved that Daniel was ‘back’; back from making old lady dresses and jackets to making young lady dresses and jackets, and called Layana a good muse. Rachel Roy loved the Daniel Shoulder™ and Reese thought his look was from today, while Layana’s look from yesteryear….Eliza Doolittle…..Scarlett O’Hara Barbie. Take your pick, they’re all good. Nina thought it looked as though Layana threw in "everything and the kitchen sink." Rachel Roy said Layana should have asked herself if she’d wear that dress—the answer would have to have been ‘No’—and then maybe she’d have trashed it further….into the trash.
When asked who should win, Daniel quite rightly said that since they all loved his dress he should win. This causes the Second Layana Meltdown in the back room as she wailed about how she created the look with him and how it wasn’t just his dress and how she feels so betrayed. I don’t think they showed it, but I think came in and gave her a Cher Moonstruck Slap™. Or that was just wishful thinking on my part.
I.Don’t.Like.Her. But she’s safe.
RICHARD and PATRICIA
Team Don’t See Eye To Eye About Anything.
Other than agreeing almost at once that Richard should create the commercial look and Patricia, the artist, should create the art piece, this match didn’t work at all.
There was no talking, except for Richard saying he wanted to wait and see what Patricia did before he picked up a needle and thread. Well, except for spending hours creating a bracelet and then having the walnuts to utter, “Fashion was born this morning.”
Patricia works—and, to be fair, she doesn’t explain herself very well—while Richard doodles and dawdles and hot glues leather and beads to a cuff for Layana to try on.
When Tim comes in and sees Patricia’s art project and Richard’s half-finished dress, he accuses Richard of trying to pawn off responsibility for their designs on Patricia should things go wrong. And then, in the confessional, Richard says, “What?” but there’s a gleam in his eye that says, Damn! Had Tim not said that I totally would have done it.
Patricia keeps calling Richard "Daniel" and Richard keeps calling his team “Oil and water.” I believe he’ll be calling it Auf’d by the end of the day.
I felt bad for Patricia, who’s a little crazy and a little stubborn and little hard t understand, because this was her challenge to win, and then being paired with Richard automatically sinks her. He has no creativity, unless it’s a jersey colorblocked dress, and cannot fathom how to create a companion piece until he sees Patricia’s look completely finished.
But I loved when Patricia said, “My piece scares you? GOOD! If I instill fear in you, at least you FELT something!" I loved that because Richard mostly feels ready to go home.
Now, that said, I found her piece, while artistic, kind of scary—hmmm, she instilled fear in me, too—and strait-jacket-esque. That said, Richard’s travesty was a hot ugly mess. The top didn’t seem to go with the bottom, and the bottom looked like a chef’s hat.
Nina hated Patricia’s veil, while Heidi loved it, and Nina also called the print—which Patricia called a play on an eagle’s feather …. Huh?—kind of circus tent. She did, however, love the layering of fabric on the art piece. She politely said that it was clear Richard struggled with the skirt; it looked tortured. Heidi gave a heavy sigh, said she hated it and called it bad.
And Auf’d.
MY TAKE
Again, here we are nearing the end, and still the designers don’t get that, even if you create a masterpiece, if your partner sucks, you will not win. Now, I’m not saying Patricia should have won, but out of all the art designs, hers was the most artistic. But Richard’s sad aesthetic, and inability to sew a zipper correctly, brought the whole team down.
I’m over Layana. If she shows at The Tents I’ll Elvis my flatscreen.
Funny bit: when Michelle called out Richard for his one-note aesthetic, and said if he showed at The tents he’s parade twelve jersey-colorblocked numbers down the runway. A quick Google search, and you see that Richard did show at The Tents—as a decoy collection—and he did show twelve jersey-colorblocked messes.
Next week: no teams, although some Aufee’s come back to, um, ‘help’ or sabotage. Plus, the return of The Adorable Zac Posen™.
What did YOU think?
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